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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

Man, what a dilema.

Personally, I would be more hurt and concerned about an emotional relationship than a physical one. Sex without emotion is meaningless. Emotional connection without sex is still an emotional connection.

You are old enough to have this stuff figured out. You are also old enough to have learned how to forgive. In 34 years of marriage, hasn't your relationship had a rebirth or two over time?

The STD factor is a concern, however. Are these recent "blooms" that she is having? Do you have any symptoms of an STD?

I haven't figured out why, but I could forgive a singular physical tryst on the part of my wife. It would hurt, but I could understand a one-time shallow physical affair. However, for whatever reason, if that affair brought an STD into the relationship, I would not be forgiving. I would be pragmatic and for me, that would mean getting out of the relationship. Funny how the same act has a different dynamic when and STD is involved.

Affair or no affair, if your wife has some kind of lesion or shanker or pimple on her privates, it is reasonable for you to expect her to go to a doctor and get a clean bill of health openly discussed with you, her doctor, and you.

Naturally, you should get tested too.

If she does have an STD that she did not have when you married her, it would not be unreasonable if you wanted to part ways.

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