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My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years now. We are young (22 and 23), and still live at home with our parents... and his family is REALLY close to each other.
Even his sister, who is 25 and moved out with a family of her own, is always over at the parent's house just spending time. When her husband goes out of town for business for a night, she spends the night at her parent's house with the baby. I don't understand this at all.

Well... we live in florida, and there has been some talk about my boyfriend and I moving out of state to North Carolina.... and now this is ALL his family talks about... It was my boyfriend and my idea for us... JUST US, to move up there, and his family talks about it as if it were their own idea. They are serious about moving... there are no reasons for them to stay here because his dad is retired and his mom has no ties here. (plus the area we are looking at is beautiful... who wouldn't want to live there?) They are originally from long island, and all they talk about is missing the snow and the seasons.

I don't want to live next door, or even down the road from his family. They are great people, but they remind me of the brady bunch and I feel like I can't be myself when I'm over at their house. I cant imagine being in a brand new city having them as the only people we know.... we'll never get away.

Am I being a bad person for feeling like I don't want them to move up there with us??

He tells me that he doesn't want them moving up there.... but.... I know how close they all are, and I"m sure he'd appreciate them going up with us so we'd know someone there.

Maybe he's being sincere, and he doesn't want them to...but it makes me wonder why they are all so hot on the idea all of a sudden.

All of them- his parents, and his sister, her husband, and their baby.

I couldn't imagine MY family moving up there.... so it's hard for me, really hard for me, to imagine his whole clan coming with.

They all have to cut the umbilical cord at some point.

Am I wrong? Does this make me a bad person not wanting them to move up there with us?
Hi!
Hmm...well, I am quite close to my family too. I live on my own (about to move in with my boyfriend), and I go to visit my parent's at least once or twice a week. Sometimes I spend the night too. I have a big family and I miss them when I don't see them for a while. I was the first to move out, and I sometimes feel like I'm missing out... That could help you better understand your boyfriend's sister.... I think its great she loves her family and can go to them, with her child, when she is alone.
I don't think there's anything wrong with that. If I had to move to another state, and my family came with me, I would be thrilled.
Luckily, I have a boyfriend who loves my family and fits right in.
Of course, you do need to draw the line somewhere... But I can only urge you to NEVER try to come between him and his family. He will only resent you. You say he doesn't want them moving with you guys, but yet you also mention that he would appreciate having them come with.
Do you think that maybe he is saying he doesn't want them coming just to pacify you?
If he is that close to his family, he will miss them terribly, which will make him miserable. Plus, it may seem all romantic to move somewhere new, just the 2 of you, but that would probably get old in about 1 month... I'm not saying it can't work, but eventually when the newness and excitement dies down, he will miss the people he moved away from.

My advice to you is to embrace his family and become a part of it. You may end up loving them and wanting them around. They sound great and they must really love you too considering they are okay with you and their son moving so far away. Most parents’ would not offer to come with, but would try to make it difficult and talk you out of it.
Just because they might live in the same town doesn't mean they will be intruding on your and your boyfriend's lives every day...
Not everyone "cuts the chord" by moving to another state. It’s possible to have your own life and still be near your family.

I may be a little bias, considering I still need my family and have no problem admitting to that...

If your boyfriend really does want to move far away from them, then its up to him to talk to them about that. Unfortunatly, its really not your place to. It will just cause them to see you as the "bad girl" trying to take their son away from them...

Good Luck! :)





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