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Breaking Up?
Jul 1, 2006
Hey Guys,

It's been a while since I posted here and I'm sure some of you won't even remember me, but that's okay!

Recently, a little over 3 months ago, I entered into a relationship with a girl I have known for a year and half, We meet online a year and half ago and went on a few dates back then, but she was too wild and outgoing for me, so it did not work out. We went on a few dates again here and there but I always decided to just go with the flow.

Well, I eventually decided to just say "Ah what the heck, I'll just go with the flow this time" and we started dating and I overlooked some of the small things that bothered me before (talking loud in public, physical apperence, etc) and just give it a chance to see what happens.

It actually went really good for a while, we had great times together, we went places with her parents, she visited my family a lot, etc. However, I was living in a "dream world" My mind always said "oh, it could always be worse"

However, overtime things started opening up my eyes a little, like how she lives, what type of person she really is, and what my family really thought of her, and what's she's doing to my life. Sure, before we started dating, I was a home body, I never ever got out, I was very depressed, etc, however, how I am so stressed emotionally I cannot eat sometimes which as been resulting in wait lose as well as my job preformance has been falling.

In short: I'm at a breaking point. All my credit cards are maxed, We fight all the time (a few times a week usually) as well as, My company is having a lot of problems and my job security is at risk (workload dropping because people are no longer using pagers) and I currently have a job interview with an new company which could change my life for the rest of my life as the pay is very good and so are the benifites, and I cannot have so much stress in my life which will risk this job.

I thought I loved her, however, the way she's been treating me I really don't know now. I gave her $200 for her insurence because she's been out of work and needed money to pay it, and when I was at the ATM and gave her the money, she didn't say a word and just turned and started walking to her car... She didn't say thanks or anything. We got down the road (two seperate cars) and at the gas station I said in a joking way (didn't wanna start a fight) I said "Don't even say thanks... dang!!" and she was like "well i didn't have the chance, etc etc" How hard is it to just say thank you?

Tonight was the first night I hung out with my friend Jeff, him and his girlfriend cooked dinner for me and we all hung out and talked for a while (my girlfriend was not with me) and she called me while I was eating dinner. I just hit the ignore button and then she paged me and said "Ur a jerk. Answer your phone, I need you to tell me how to fix this thing!" I told her that I couldn't because I was eating and well, she got all made and started paging me messages like "well next time you call me and i don't wanna talk i will no answer!!!! forget about the thing that needs fixing!!"

There was also one time we drove 50 miles away to go to a waterpark, we had a blast all day, best time I had in a very long time. At the end of the day I was just so tired I wanted to go back and relax at the house, but her friends called wanting to go to the club and she wanted us to go... when I told her I was too tired, she started yelling at me and wouldn't talk to me for a few hours. She does had ADHD and BiPolar, however, she has such the rudest attutide ever.. I wanted to go home one night and she's like "why? you and your moms idea of spending time with each other is going in each others room for 15 mins the entire night!"

My question is... I want to break up, and I have tried in the past and she cried and then started yelling and cursing at me telling me how worthless of a person I am, of course, I felt guilty and gave in to try once more and here I am again. I want to break up with her, but at the same time, I have a hard time doing it.

When I was single, I was unhappy and depressed a lot (and my mom was very worried when I was that depressed) however, now that I see what a relationship is made of, I honestly don't want a relationship in my life right now... I want to focus on my new job (if i get it) and getting my bills paid off... I want to focus on creating a better life for myself.

Before the relationship, I used to go out to eat for lunch everyday... cheap lunch like $5-$7, now, I take a cold ham sandwich to work everyday because I am so tight on money being with her.

What should I do????

Thanks!
Re: Breaking Up?
Jul 1, 2006
you know, being in a relationship and loving someone does not have to equal blowing tons of money on them, lending them money, and getting yourself into debt. Don't get me wrong, it's nice and gentlemanly at the beginning for the guy to offer to pay for dates. But, once you're with someone for awhile and you're just generally doing things together, there's nothing that says that you have to pay all the time. There is also nothing that says that if your gf is out of work, for whatever reason, that you are obligated to offer to pay her insurance or anything else like that. Until you're ready to get married, there is nothing wrong with keeping your finances private. That way, you don't get your gf saying, "i'm broke, but I know you have x amount of money in the bank, can you loan me some?"

you do need to concentrate on making yourself happy, before you can be ready to be in a relationship. I do remember your past posts, and I know that you always feel insecure when you're not in a relationship, basically you feel like the reason you're single is because you cant' get a girl. There's nothing wrong with being single. YOu've had a decent string of girlfriends, which tells you that you can get a girl. You just need to stop being so caught up in having [B]A[/B] girlfriend, and just wait until you find the [B]right[/B] girlfriend. I mean, just think of the time you've wasted, in this relationship that you knew right from the start wasn't the one for you. You might have missed Ms. Right all these months!
Re: Breaking Up?
Jul 9, 2006
Well,

Me and Jessica had a date today, however, she called eairly this morning and left a voicemail to cancel the date (at least she called this time, last weekend she didn't call at all for a few days!) She said her car was having some problems and she was over her dad's house and that she would have to take the car to the shop to get it fixed (She does have a very old car) however, I don't know how she did that as today is Sunday and most of them are closed.

What disappoints me is, I don't understand why I couldn't have just picked her up and hang out with her, but o-well.

So far, I've been very disappointed and let down with Jessica. We hit things off really good the first day we meet, but since then, It's been a bit quite. I'm trying to decide to keep going after her, or just let go. I talked with my aunt and she said I should move on, and my mom simply said "I don't know".

I'm trying to decide to call her back or just let her call me. I'm worried if I don't call her back she might thing I'm mad, but at the same time, she keeps canceling plans that I don't know if I want to keep chasing her.

As for Elizabeth, I'm trying to cut everything off with her. We both had a joint cell phone plan which is fairly new. She refuses to give me the phone back, which is okay since I have insurence and this falls under stolen phone, and my mom is needing a cell phone and said she would split a plan with me. Elizabeth is wanting to keep the phone and is offering to pay me per month for it, but honestly, I just want to cut everything off with her and have nothing to do with her anymore. She keeps trying and trying and trying to get me to hang out/go out with her... However, I just want to cut all ties so I will have nothing to worry about anymore.

Because of my past relationships/dating expereinces, Elizabeth, and Jessica.. I'm at the point where I don't even want a relationship anymore. I've been put through so much stress/emotional twists since I've been seriously dating for the past few years that I just simply cannot take it anymore. I am so happy to be single again right now... I can focus on getting a 2nd job and paying my bills off without having anyone else to worry about. It sucks being lonely, but at least I'm happy for the time being! :-) Sad part is, I've always wanted a loving caring girlfriend and I always wanted to get married within a few years, however, after going through everything.. I have such a bad after taste in my mouth right now that I don't even wanna think about dating anymore.

I think one of my problems is, I live in a BIG Military city... We have around 6-8 bases within 100 miles of here, so I think most women have their "requirements" for physical apperence pretty high for guys. All the female friends I had loved military men, and a lot of them I knew eventually married one. So I'm often having to settle for much less than I want... almost every single girl (with the exception of Jessica) I've dated I have not been physically attracted to, and I've had a lot of people tell me I could be doing a lot better... however, There just isn't much of a market for guys like me out here.. lol.

I will admit, when I am single, I get very very depressed and upset. My mom and I had a talk before me and Elizabeth broke up and she said "Are you sure you can handle being single again? Remember how depressed you were before? I was really worried about you before..." The happiness I have right now of being single will only last so long, and I can already feel the depression sinking in a little already. I do need to go on some medicines, however, I currently have no health insurence because of company changes (No one uses pagers anymore :-(

I don't know if the depression is kicking in already or not, but I had a bad night last night and got only a couple hours of sleep. I woke up this morning at 5 AM got into my car, turned off my cell phone and pager and just started driving. I drove for almost 3 hours and over 100 miles, including going into another state TWICE. I still have yet to figure out what made me do that... I was very tired when I did that and I left without telling anyone. I'd go for a drive now if it wasn't so late and dark outside...

Either way, right now my biggest focuses in my life is paying off bills, hoping to get this new job then getting a 2nd job on top of that, and buying a house (I already been approved for a loan, however, I felt uneasy about it until all my bills were paid off)





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