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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


Hi, I have been wondering about this lately...I tend to try to analyze everything logically rather than be emotional, and I think I try so hard to stay objective sometimes that I lose sight of how I feel. But the question remains, how do you know when you are in love with someone as opposed to loving them the way you love a close friend? I am not sure. Also, how can you tell when a guy loves you? Assume that neither of us is likely to ever mention it. I'd feel like a little kid saying to someone, "I like you, do you like me?" but I just don't know how to tell otherwise.

More and more I am noticing myself feeling lately that I REALLY like my old friend from high school. We have always been close, and our families and friends are close, but we have never officially dated in any way. Back in high school we used to hook up pretty discreetly and the same thing in college...now that we're both going back to school (he studies medicine and I study law among other things), we've been hanging out again a lot, and his dad is a close friend and mentor to me. We have been going out, playing golf, and mostly just hanging out...a lot of times in bed, which has been just wonderful. He is gentle like a doctor but also not at all squeamish and repressed about sex like most guys. Most guys, in my view, just aren't that great in bed, because of their genetics and physical traits and/or just a lack of experience/imagination/skill. I cannot possibly be with a man who doesn't love sex and know how to do it well and often.

But I don't know if all this necessarily makes us anything more than friends, as we have always been. I do know that no other guy interests me as much as he does and that he's pretty much my first choice of people to hang out with. It's nice because he's a huge nerd like me and can talk forever with me about science and history and all the other random stuff we like learning about. He also loves golf even more than I do, and we both share the view that a joint can make many of the things we enjoy together, like golf, eating, cooking, traveling, sleeping, reading, watching movies, music, and of course anything sexual. Many guys do not think that way, and it's also hard to find a guy who, like me, is an atheist and deep down very liberal even though we should be conservative if we thought with our wallets instead of our consciences.

I just really love having a guy around who is so much like me, with the same kind of personality and eccentricities, and also someone who I feel totally comfortable and never nervous around. That is rare for me--usually I don't trust people completely and let down my guard except with my oldest and closest friends, so I really like that I never worry around him if he's going to judge me or think differently of me for just being me. He is very gentle and accepting in that way. So I'm going on and on, but I obviously like this guy a lot. I even kept quiet so he could sleep in today, and with any other guy, I would have woken him up and wanted him to leave. But I don't get sick of him, and I really hope he doesn't get sick of me. I guess if we've been friends for 10 years, that would have already happened...hopefully. Anyway, I don't know what to do now...should I change my myspace to say I'm in a relationship? :eek: Should I tell my friend that I really like him and want to be more than friends, or is that obvious and redundant? I think he knows I like him, but it's hard to tell. Please help.





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