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Hey, thank you very much for your reply.

I'm not a teenager, but in my early twentys, so it's kinda close. My boyfriend is younger than me though, so we still deal with teenage like issues.

The thing is, for the most part, I don't feel guilty about hanging out with the guy, because my boyfriend has told me many times he has no problem with it. I don't feel guilt in the sense that I'm doing something wrong. But on the other hand, part of me is always terrified that I'll do something wrong to make my boyfriend mad, and I'll screw things up. And now he's saying he doesn't want me to hang out with this guy, which I can completely appreciate, except it doesn't feel to me like it's because he's worried. I don't know, I can't explain it, and maybe he IS just worried. But not long ago he told me he trusted me to be friends with guys.

The thing is, I'm really worried a lot of the time. He's cheated in the past so I'm really anxious when he's around other girls. I don't WANT this to be a problem. I want us to have a normal, loving, comfortable relationship, but I feel like a lot of that was forfitted when he cheated. I know I need to get past that, that's my issue to deal with. But, a lot of the time he gets mad at me, not because the things I do bother him, but because it would bother ME if HE did it. It's kind of hard to follow.

Example: The other day at my job, it was really really slow. My boss on at the time was a guy, but he's in his late twenties (he seems very old to me) We had nothing to do, so we played 20 questions. It did not even cross my MIND that that would be an issue. We only made it to 8 questions and then it got busy again, so we stopped. I told my boyfriend this in passing, just explaining my day, and he got mad and called me a ****. I was really, really hurt and confused, because just a month or so ago, he told me I can talk to guys, he's okay with it, he trusts me. He got so mad, and said that if *HE* played 20 questions with some girl at his work, I'd '***** at him' but then *I* do it. I told him I honestly didn't think it'd be a problem, but now that I know it is, I won't do it again. I also said if his boss was like in her late 20s, I wouldn't care, because she's just..older. I also told him he told ME it's okay to talk to guys, that he trusts me, not worry about it...if he doesn't want that to be the case, just tell me, but don't call me names when it happens, when it was supposed to be okay. If he wants it to stop, I will, but I had no idea.

He's been really stressed lately. He says that there's a double standard and I do whatever I want, and he can't...but that is SO completely untrue.

[quote]
Either way, if your boyfriend has a legitimate problem with it, then you should take that into consideration. That's what a commited relationship is about- being open and honest, and mostly- compromise. Maybe there is some kind of compromise that can be made here. Maybe your BF just felt like you and this guy were spending too much alone time and he felt threatened by it.[/quote]

The thing is...I would love love love to have an open, honestly relationship where we both compromise until we're okay. We used to have that. But lately, he's been doing whatever, whenever, and if I don't like it..I'm a nagging *****. It's beyond frustrating, because I'm in a sitation where if I don't like something...tough, I have to deal, because he wants to do it. I feel like I'm sorta losing my mind at this point. I never, ever do that sort of thing to him. If something bothers him, I would talk until we came to a compromise. But he just wants to do whatever he wants. He says it's his life and I need to stop controlling him. It's not about control, I tell him that all the time, just some things hurt me (like getting drunk and staying out until 3 in the morning, or telling me he'll call and never calling, or saying we can hang out and never showing up, or smoking pot all the time..)

He used to be more understanding about the girl thing, because he has cheated. But after that 20 questions thing happened with my boss, he said he's going to stop avioding girls because he's sick of there being a double standard. He walked out during that fight, and we haven't talked about it since. I've been worried sick since it happened (last weekend) but I'm afraid to bring it up. I just feel like things are getting out of control and he cares more about having fun than how I'm feeling, at all.

I'm sort of rambling, I apologize. He may have a problem with my hanging out with his friend alone, but I just don't feel like that's the problem. He's said to me out right before he doesn't care if I talk to guys, but it's not fair that I can talk to guys and he can't talk to girls. But I would never talk to guys (hang out with, etc) if he didn't say it was okay. I feel like I'm getting mixed mesages. It just feels like he's doing it out of spite, for the wrong reasons. I don't even have guy friends, just this one guy that I hang out with sometimes. But we can't even really talk about it so I don't know where we can go from here.:confused:

I'm just tired of being lonely all the time.





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