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Relationship Health Message Board


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Hi everyone,

Ok, so I have no idea what is going on in my life, as usual. Like I wrote about in my last thread, I've been seeing this one friend of mine, who I have known for many years, and whose family and mine are close friends as well. We lost touch for a few years while he was gone for college and I was living with my last serious boyfriend, but I stay close with his dad and his mom stays close with my mom. Anyway a few months ago I wrote to him and he was surprised that I was single...we of course then met up and pretty much ever since have been very close friends again as well as more than friends. I think he has always liked me, but back when we were friends from school, I always had another boyfriend, and we were never officially together. We're both so private that even if we'd been together officially, few people would have probably known about it.

Last night, he was out of town, but me and my mom had his parents over for dinner, which was fun, we all get along really well. The weird part is that NOT ONE of them seemed to have any clue that all these years, we have been a lot more than just platonic friends at many times. I had no idea anyone could be that oblivious, but they are all three kind of oblivious, laissez-faire parents who don't snoop into their kids' lives, and since my buddy and I are so intensely private by nature, I guess they really just don't know. But it shocks me that they wouldn't have ever wondered why we were friends, since so often people assume that guys and girls can't be just close friends and nothing else.

SOOO I guess my question is if this is an ok, or a totally ridiculous and weird, state of affairs. I mean, most people would think we were bf and gf for sure from the way we are always talking, hanging out, doing things together, with our families, etc. Not to mention that we sleep together, and that the only reason I could imagine in which a heterosexual young man and woman need to have sleepovers is to have sex. Yet our parents seem to think we just stay at each other's houses sometimes because we've had too much to drink to drive or something. It really boggles my mind that they think that way. And what should I say to my friend about all this? I am happy with us being friends and the way things aren't now, I don't want to push for things to be more serious or anything. But at the same time I feel like we're lying to people for no good reason...when I asked him what to say at the dinner, he said don't lie, but I just couldn't help not telling our parents everything because it's so against my nature to talk about my private life. So does this mean we are like secretly together? I don't mind being all covert, but I think it's a little weird. Or am I just totally crazy and deluding myself about all this? Maybe we're not more than friends, but that would be a problem, because I definitely like him as more than a friend, and I really don't want to get hurt. :dizzy:





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