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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


So I had my heart ripped out a few months back. It was ROUGH. Ive recently started feeling OK to date again. Im still really vulnerable and I waver a lot between being frigid to guys I feel are hitting on me vs. trying to get excited when I give a guy a chance. So, to sum it up, I have a ton of baggage but Im trying to deal with it while learning to trust again.

Anyway, I met this guy out at a bar two or three weeks ago, hes 27 Im 24. So, knowing that I met him in a bar pretty much means to me that I'll never see him again (I live in a gigantic city). Well, we hit it off, he was an amazing kisser, but he had to cut the night short because his roommate was locked out. Long story short, he texted me telling me he had an amazing night, wanted to see me again. Then he called a day later, telling me he would be in my area Sat. if I was interested. I assumed it was Sat. night, and unintentionally blew him off Sat. day yet said we should meet up that night. Turns out he meant day-time, which pleasantly surprised me. We did end up meeting Sat. night and it was a great time. He seemed into me, made the effort to come where I was to meet me, would call me RIGHT back or pick up on the 1st ring, and had a lot of qualities I liked, in as much I could know from 2 times seeing him. There were just no immediate red flags for once!!

The next week, we started talking on the phone- he had been gone for business. We decide that next time we hang out we should do something during the day, so he asked me if I wanted to go to him to see this big exhibit on Sat. during the day (it was Wed). We also talked Thurs, he asked again if we were getting together Sat., I said yes, call me around noon and we'll plan to go.

So come Sat., its 12:45, and...nothing. Im all set and ready to go. And Im irritated that I could be wasting a great day. So I call and he is saying how he got caught up with stuff at home and was feeling really exhausted from traveling and all that and didnt want to call me too early, blah blah blah...so I play the understanding role and I say ok so you don't want to go? and he says No no no! I do. So we plan to meet up downtown in an hour. Twenty minutes later he calls and CANCELS, saying its just too much for him with all the stuff he has to get done, and do I want to meet up later? In my mind, I thought ugh what bs, but I said OK. He did call me that night around 8, we chatted,which was nice, but I was out and busy. He said hed call me later and tell me his plans. He didnt. He then called me around 1:30 am. His reason was that he had slept til 1 am and went out right after due to his friend's pressuring him. I was home at that time (lame night), so clearly didnt meet up with him. While on the phone, he apologizes, says he fd things up, and that we HAVE to hang out this upcoming week. He says hes a bad planner and is more spontaneous, yada yada. Anyway, so we make tentative plans for Monday/Tuesday, and I just say "call me and hopefully it will work out".

Well, tomorrow is Monday, so we'll see, I guess my instinct just says that hes gonna flake out again. Then why would he keep asking me to get together? He always calls me back, but I wonder what would happen if I hadnt had called him to ask "are we still going"?

I guess what Im wondering is if this guy is *ullsh**ting me or not. Granted Ive known him 2.5 weeks, weve hung out/made out 3 times, and I met him in a bar. I can easily write him off tomorrow, but this is the first guy ive gotten even a little bit excited about since Ive been newly single. I am just afraid my bitterness and broken heart is going to cause me to think the worst with everyone way too soon in the game. At the same time, I dont want to get strung along. I also know that this is WAYYY too much analysis for a guy Ive known two weeks, but thats why I come to these boards...so I can be chill in person but neurotic on my own while I learn how to get back in the single game ;)





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