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Relationship Health Message Board


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Hey guys, I'm not new here just changed my Username. :)

I have been dating my BF for 4 years, we just recently went on a break which lasted a month. The reason for the break was because I felt he was too busy with work and different things and that he just didnt want to see me as much and didnt care. So I initiated the break and told him that I feel he needs this break (I didnt but I dont want to hang around when I feel unwanted). So I didnt hear from him in a WHOLE month, not a call from him, nothing. Then about 2 weeks ago he texted me asking me how I was and that he missed me and never stopped thinking about me. I missed him really bad, but would never call him (we are both stubborn), and I went out with my friends a couple of times and heard he went out many times with his friends (to bars, clubs..etc). Which is pretty messed up because he didnt have time for me, but had time to go out with his friends all the time. So anyway, we got back together and everything seemed to be going great. But recently I feel the same way as I did before, that he doesnt really care to be in a relationship with me. He's doesnt show me any emotion, he barely talkes to me and I just basically dont feel loved. He's not romantic, or really affectionate, unless he's in the mood..lol..

I just dont know what to do, I talked to him about it today and he said I never even gave it a chance..why should I have to give this a chance? If I never said anything, he would never think anything was wrong. I was never really the type to feel this way, I used to be more cold like he is now, and he more lovey as I am now. Its weird how the tables have turned. I just need some advice. Like Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City said "I am someone who is looking for love, Real Love. ... inconvenient, consuming, canít-live-without-each-other love.Ē And I'm just not getting that. what should I do?:dizzy:

I should also say that I'm only 21, and he was my first REAL serious love. i've had plenty of childish relationships, but none as serious as him.
Thanks Veronica, however what you have said really isnt how I am at all. I'm sweeter to him now than I have ever been in my life. I used to be much less sweet and much less nice. During the time when I was somewhat cold to him, is when he tried much harder. Now that I am the one who is sweet, he seems less interested..which I know happens alot with both guys and girls. Maybe I'm too nice? When we are together, I dont bug him, I just listen to what he has to say and try to provide helpful answers. He is going through a couple of things right now, such as a health issue (not major, but he shouldnt be having it at his young age), so I try to steer him in the right direction, but whatever I say to help, he doesnt really take, he knows he should do it but doesnt follow through. He's kindof like a brick wall in that sense. I really dont ask for much when in comes to him, all I want is to feel loved and appreciated and cared for, and I dont feel that as much anymore. I dont care if he hangs out with his friends, but when you feel like he wants to hang out with his friends more than you, it makes my sad. I only see him twice a week and this week i'll only see him once. So I dont get to see him much. I didnt see him for a whole month, had no communication with him whatsoever, you would think he'd be excited to see more of me, since he was the one who wanted to get back together, but hes not.





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