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Relationship Health Message Board

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This seems totally insane to me but I have to get it off my chest.

About a week and a half ago a new employee started working in my office. As much as I wanted to avoid it, I was completely drawn to her. I’ve tried to dismiss many of the indications that she might like me, but there’s too many to ignore. At first I thought she was just being nice and friendly, but there seem to be too many instances of ‘casual touching’ and certain body language to ignore. As much as I’ve tried to, I can’t get her out of my head. To make matters way worse, I’m married (and as I explained in my other thread, not entirely happily) and she’s living with her boyfriend.

Here’s where I kinda need some help. Not having had to be on the hunt for many, many years my senses have become somewhat dulled when it comes to this sort of thing. First of all, am I totally nuts to think there’s a difference when someone refers to their significant other as ‘we’ as opposed to ‘my boyfriend/girlfriend?’ Second, and this is what’s really been eating away at me, is what happened on Friday: I stayed late after work with her because she needed to finish a project. During that time we were chatting back and forth and she mentioned the following: she wanted to make sure she wasn’t keeping me from anything, needing a margarita after all that work (twice), and that she didn’t have any plans that night. Anyhow, we left and said ‘bye’ in the lot and in my mind I wanted to ask her to join me for dinner and I didn’t. I’ve been kicking myself over that all weekend long.

Were the signs there? Did I totally screw this up or am I just fried from all this heat and humidity we’ve been having. I think I’m completely mental for having any notion that me, still being married, and her, in a relationship, will amount to anything other than friends. But still, something is driving me like I haven’t been driven before. I really hope I didn’t jack anything up by not reading her signs, if that’s what they actually were.

Thanks for any help.

- Daniel

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