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Relationship Health Message Board

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I think she was just being nice. I know I always need a drink after work if I work late on a Friday! But, if I mention that to someone, that certainly doesn't mean I'm interested in them! She probably wanted to make sure she wasn't keeping you from anything because it was Friday. It was very nice of you to stay late with her, and I'm sure she appreciated that -- anyone would. I mean, even someone of the same sex would say that, if they were polite. She probably mentioned that she didn't have any plans because she didn't mind staying late. It was probably just small talk. I always talk to my co-workers about what I'm going to do over the weekend but I'd never want to hang out with any of them. Maybe she wants to be friends with you and you could have said "let's go for a drink" when you were done with the project, but it would have just been a friendly co-worker happy hour deal.

Some people's personalities cause them to "casually touch" other people and stuff like that. It can be confused as flirting. Or, maybe she's just a flirt.

Either way, I wouldn't pursue anything with her. You need to deal with your own problems---and your marriage---before bringing someone else into the situation. Plus, she's a coworker and if my hunches are right and she's NOT interested, then how embarassing is it going to be if you ask her out and she says no. Then you'll still have to work with her every day with the embarassment of rejection. And, I'm sure she knows you're married, so you'd look like even more of a jerk.

If you're having problems with your marriage, an affair is NOT the way to solve anything. I was married once and had affairs before I finally got divorced. The affairs caused so much heartache and stress and problems, it wasn't worth it. Getting divorced and moving on was worth it.

Good luck!

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