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Re: DV Help
Aug 1, 2006
I don't know your specific states laws, but an overview of your situation makes me very scared for you. I went through similiar in a different state about 8 years ago.

It took almost 2 years to settle our custody issues. Our temp orders were that I was to keep the house, he make the payments until the house sold, and we split any profit, he quit making payments, the house went foreclosure, and eventually I filed for bankruptcy because the loser quit working and dumped all the bills in my lap and I was being garnished left and right for cars he let go back and the house, he even ran up a 900 dollar phone bill at our house calling his girlfriend on my calling card. So I lived in the booneys, over a half mile from our nearest neighbor with three children and no phone for emergency. I eventually got a cell phone that I carried with me everywhere I went with the kids and at work.

I fortunately had friends in the sherriffs department and ems system and when my number popped up on the 911 system they responded very quickly. However, had he wanted to hurt me, and take our kids he could have, he just liked to play games and threaten alot, thankfully. I finally left the home, stayed with friends in a fenced enclosure and lots of other kids to play with, while the ex decided to break into the home and "wait" for me. It went on for months.

Im sorry to dredge on, but I have to say something that may not be very popular with the public here, and that is, if you fear for your life or the safety of your children then leave, if you have family in another state or somewhere you can stay and have the children protected then do it, credit can be rebuilt, jobs can be replaced, ect. You can't replace you or your children. I gave up a very lucrative position in real estate to disappear and not have him know where I was. I was warned that since the nature of my job was to meet perfect strangers in an empty house alone, it wasn't advised I continue since I had put a no contact order on my ex.

During the time after our settlement, my ex refused to support his kids and was arrested three times for failure to pay. After spending two weeks in jail cause everyone refused to bail him out again, he got the hint. He hasn't missed a payment in almost two years now. He has very little relationship with his kids as hes full of broken promises and parades girlfriend after girlfriend in front of the kids. I don't know why some men are just born losers and they have to feel big by picking on women, maybe cause they aren't real men and can't fight a real fight without losing. First time my ex came up against me in front of my new bf and his family was the last time he thought of physical violence against me, and noone touched him physically.

Eventually things went back to normal, I now live in another state, own my own home, have a nice car, husband and better job than I had then.

I really wish you the best, keep us posted.

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