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Relationship Health Message Board

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Re: Heartbreak
Aug 1, 2006
I dont know about the whole getting burned thing but my husband had only one "long term" relationship before me. He was married for a whopping year. We were both 34 when we met and he really did have some problems with being in a relationship mainly because he had no clue how to behave and was stuck in the rut his ex put him in. I think if there is real love.. and yes, I believe I found real love late in life regardless of the puppy loves I THOUGHT were real love.. that these problems can be overcome. You just have to meet eachother halfway and resolve to work out the marriage or relationship.. not play the usual games.

IE throughout our relationship he has mentioned other relationships and other sexual encounters. I didnt like it after a while and the times when he decided to mention these things. I told him just what I thought. After some dialog and being honest with himself and me he thinks that its due to him feeling insecure about himself and wanting to pump himself up and make himself seem cool adn like a super-lover to me. he seems to think Im too good for him. In my mind he is the most handsome man Ive seen, GRRRRREAT lover, and I see NO reason why he'd ever have to build himself up. No matter what Id said he didnt FEEL it. His baggage got in the way. That kind of thing really gets in the way... causes big problems. I told him it did the opposite and made me feel liek he was thnking of others while with me and comparing me. We were both NOT on the same page with it and didnt understand where the other was coming from. We took our time and worked it out and it is a solved issue.

In my longwinded was I am saying that there will be problems if youve never been in a long term relationship or you have. We ALL bring our own personal baggage into a relationship and the thing is that you have to work it out..... it has to be honest and sometimes being honest with yourself is harder than being honest with someone else.

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