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Relationship Health Message Board


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OK, most people would definitely think that it is "wrong" and "immoral" to be with a man who is committed to another woman. But in my opinion, most people spend way too much time and energy judging other people, and the most important thing is to be happy with your own life. However, in general it is better to be honest...if I was going to point out anything about your situation that might cause you guilt, I think the fact that his girlfriend is in the dark about his infidelity would be the main thing. But otherwise, while the majority of people are going to disapprove of this, the truth is, most people are going to disapprove of how you live no matter what you do, because most people are miserable and bored with their own lives and therefore get some twisted pleasure out of condemning others. As long as you treat other people the way you want to be treated, I wouldn't worry. But still, you should be prepared for a lot of (not completely unfounded) disrespect and disapproval from society if things continue this way. On the other hand, my dad cheated on my mom (they got divorced when I was a baby) and is still, 20-something years later, with the other woman. She is a very kind and honest person, and the truth was, my parents were terribly mismatched and their relationship was dying anyway. In any event, I hope things work out for the best for you (and that you don't get jumped all over here...some people are very touchy when it comes to cheating).
Hello All-
I've seen some very interesting posts and opinions on this situation and can understand where everyone is coming from. I have to point out a couple of things here.

First sweetie- this guy is your bosses son- it's not the best idea to "get your honey where you get your money" as another poster stated. It's not usually a good idea to mix the two together- especially when it involves the bosses son. Too many reprecussions if people find out.

This guy, whether he's married to his girlfriend or not, is in some kind of comitted relationship. They have been together for 6 years and own a home together. That in itself makes it clear there is some level of comitted relationship. I personally wouldn't want to stay with a man for 6 years without a "formal" marital commitment, but there are women and men alike who just do not feel that marriage is needed to have a long term relationship. This could be the case with your "bf" and his gf.

I'm not judging you, so please do not take it this way. You have to do what you are comfortable with, but sweetie, if the roles were reversed, and you were the girlfriend who had comitted 6 years of your life with this man, loved him, gave your heart to him, and invested in a home together with him. If you were the one basically living as his wife, cooking his meals, doing his laundry, keeping his home clean and comfortable for him, would you want another woman to come in and have the fun of having a secret, exciting sexual relationship with him?

You say that you aren't looking for a commitment, but then you also say that you don't want for this thing between you and him to end. It sounds like maybe there are some feelings being developed here. It's fine to want to be young and enjoy the experience of being free to be with whomever you want to be with, but, right now, this guy is in a relationship with someone else. What you are doing can and will hurt someone else when it comes out. Your job could be in jeopardy as well if anyone finds out what's going on. Then what happens? You lose your job, your exciting relationship with your bosses son and what will you be left with?

Again, I agree with another poster who said "treat others the way you would like to be treated". So, if you truly have no guilt over this whatsoever and would be fine with another woman and your bf doing this to you, then by all means, continue as you are. You might need to be prepared for the fall out though, because many times, these secret relationships don't stay secret but for so long.

In my opinion, cheating is cheating and it's wrong. Period. I'm not judging because it's not my place, but since you asked for other people's opinions, I had to put mine in there. I also have to add that if your "bf" is the kind of guy who will cheat on his gf of 6 years, then comittment probably isn't one of his stong points. You probably aren't his first sexual fling and probably won't be his last either.

Good Luck Girl! :wave:





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