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I know, I really should! But, I hate rejection and I have been rejected by TONS of guys I have met over the internet and it's really started to make my self-esteem go downhill. I really am an attractive girl and I think I'm fun, too. I tend to hold back a lot of who I am, but not too much.

I do really like a guy who is shy/quiet at work and I want to ask him out, but I am pretty sure he would say no. I also have NO idea if he's got a girlfriend. I'm suspicious that he does. He's definitely talking to me more lately and tends to try to keep conversation going, but we are both so nervous that our conversations are wierd and we seem to disagree on every thing! The thing is.. I usually agree with him, but I am so nervous, It end to say the opposite of what I think. It's so silly.

I don't work directly with him, I just walk past his desk a lot. I've brought up in front of him (while talking to someone else) that I am single. I also am doing a lot of 'cutesy' little looks and always say hi when I see him. If anything, I just want to hang out with him as a friend and see if we are compatible. But, I don't know if he would EVER ask me to lunch. I don't know any other way of coaxing him! Though giving him longer looks would definitely help matters.

I kind of want to ask a co-worker if he is single. But, I KNOW that she would spread it all over the place I work and he'd probably be really emberassed, as would I. Eep!


[QUOTE=GypsyArcher]Why hang back and wait for someone to show interest in you? The next time you find someone attractive, why don't YOU just go after them? Sitting back and worrying about whether or not somebody likes you puts you on the defensive. You need to go on offense and let them know what you want. And then they can take it or leave it.

If you are an attractive girl, then most guys would be flattered to know you like them. Next time you are out somewhere and you see someone you like, just totally stare them down. Now, whether or not I'm interested in the guy, I'd never complain about a hottie (or at least a somewhat attractive guy) checking me out.

If you're shy it can be a little hard to do at first, but work on it. Once you have a guy in your sights, just keep looking at him. Not in a creepy, I-have-a-collection-of-heads-hidden-in-my-freezer kind of way, but a coquettish, sexy, teasing way. Keep catching his eye, and openly admire his whole package. You can start off slow and incrementally increase the blatancy level. That way, you make it very clear what you want. And if the guy likes you too, he won't be so afraid to come over and talk to you.

If you take the upper hand, then you won't have to go around all the time freaking out over what kind of signals the guy is sending/not sending. Make it clear that you are diggin' him, and then if he wants to respond he will, and if not, then not.[/QUOTE]
:jester: OK [B]NOW [/B]this is getting good.

It helps that you have someone in mind and your past posts provided some insights into the situation and atmosphere around you. If this guy seems nervous or skidish around you, it is a GOOD signal.

I do not recommend you take the initiative to ask him out first. If he really is shy, he might just say no as a reflex because he doesn't know how to handle the situation. It's an automatic shield against potential embarassment. (You know how that's like, right?)

I do think you should go the route of asking his friends about his status quo (single/girlfriend etc) It's actually not bad if this kinda gets out in the open.

Remember, here you are, two "shy" people probably both interested in finding out more but lack what it takes to come closer to each other. You can use some outside interference to ease the tension of potential rejection.

Heck, if I was working with you in the same office knowing what I know now, I would enjoy nothing less than setting you two up somehow, someway and seeing that you two hook up for the first meeting/date, sincerely speaking.:D

Don't get distracted by compatability issues until you get past the first few dates. You can't really start to learn about someone from afar, can you? Never judge a book by its cover and remember the first things first, i.e. "the first date":cool:

Keep us posted on the developments and good luck to the both of you.:wave:
Yeah! I think it's a good sign that he's skiddish around me, too! The only problem is that when he DOES have a chance to be alone with me, he bolts. He also doesn't seem to take any opportunities to talk to me or be around me. So, I kind of wonder if he's nervous around me just because he finds me attractive, but he thinks we have nothing in common.

It's funny you mention wishing you could set us up. A co-worker actually tried to set me up with him the first week I started working at the place I do! But, I didn't know who he was, so I just giggled it off. They did sort of set something up though. We all went out after work to a bar. He didn't talk to me at ALL though. So, I just figured he didn't like me.

I think I am going to have to find out if he's single - even if I am nervous about it. The whole thing is kinda driving me crazy! Ha.


[QUOTE=minijumbofly]:jester: OK [B]NOW [/B]this is getting good.

It helps that you have someone in mind and your past posts provided some insights into the situation and atmosphere around you. If this guy seems nervous or skidish around you, it is a GOOD signal.

I do not recommend you take the initiative to ask him out first. If he really is shy, he might just say no as a reflex because he doesn't know how to handle the situation. It's an automatic shield against potential embarassment. (You know how that's like, right?)

I do think you should go the route of asking his friends about his status quo (single/girlfriend etc) It's actually not bad if this kinda gets out in the open.

Remember, here you are, two "shy" people probably both interested in finding out more but lack what it takes to come closer to each other. You can use some outside interference to ease the tension of potential rejection.

Heck, if I was working with you in the same office knowing what I know now, I would enjoy nothing less than setting you two up somehow, someway and seeing that you two hook up for the first meeting/date, sincerely speaking.:D

Don't get distracted by compatability issues until you get past the first few dates. You can't really start to learn about someone from afar, can you? Never judge a book by its cover and remember the first things first, i.e. "the first date":cool:

Keep us posted on the developments and good luck to the both of you.:wave:[/QUOTE]





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