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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


Hi Sophia -
How's the love life going? Don't you wish you had a magic ball or something that can tell you if you PICKED the right guy to marry? Where or What your life will be in a year?

Been Married now for a year, and what a first year marriage it was - NOT!
I would NEVER do it again - NEVER. I know, it's easy for me to say this when I'm on my second marriage......

For those of you reading - I was divorced for 16 years before I remarried.
I have a son with my first marriage who will be 18 in a few weeks. My ex-husband and I were on good terms...Great Parents, and Great Friends.
I remarried last June. (John) I have been with John for 8 years - engaged for 5 years before marrying the guy - I was never in a rush to get remarried while with John - he was a Great Boyfriend, had some issues including big time drinking - yes being a DRUNK...But I knew everything before going into marriage............We did everything backwards in our relationship - bought a house, became engaged, got married, went on a honeymoon, then planned a Awesome backyard wedding three months after getting married...Life Was Good, I was Happy, He was Happy, Everyone was Happy...yada yada yada..

THEN LIFE TOOK THE MOST CRUEL TURN - my Ex-husband died in a motorcyle accident. :(
My son's life has been turned upside down - here's a 17 yr old kid who had it all - the Greatest Dad in the world, his bestfriend - GONE in minutes!
I went from a Wedding Reception one weekend to a freakin planning a WAKE the following weekend. ( my ex was not remarried, no girlfriend, no will)

My dear new Husband decides to Drink More and become the biggest A$$
non supportive, cruel, Expected my son to just GET OVER IT! OMG - can you just hate him or what! I moved out for a weekend but I didn't want to freak out my son more then needed. I have tried to keep it together for my SON, my life is about making sure HE IS WELL, coping, dealing, etc....I cry alone, I go for rides and cry cry cry, why did his father have to die? He was an awesome dad - why can my Husband be more supportive towards my son?

Then, just when you think you can start to DEAL - another blow in life.
My step dad of 28 years (my real dad died when I was 8) has cancer!
Find out two days before Xmas - Great Xmas - NOT! He passed away two months ago.....Today is 8/17 - 11 months that my ex died and 3 months that my dad died - 8 months apart on the same day! I dread next month - can't believe it's going to be a freakin YEAR my son's father is gone.
My son and I communicate very well, after all I am now his mother and his father............I can't replace his dad - I just do the best I can. He knows it.
We talk about his dad all the time (privately)

I don't care anymore about being Married, I hate it.....What happened to the vows - Good Times/Bad Times,,,, Yeah only when it's about HIM....

You are suspose to know a person before you get married -
They say people man or woman change after the ink is dry on the marriage certificate................Well "I" thought I knew who and what I was marrying
but HE DID CHANGE right after our marriage-and how in the world did I know such a life altering moment like the loss of my son's father would happen?
Then my dad? I hate my husband for not being the MAN I thought I married.
I regret my marriage - I don't care about it or trying to fix it.....
I was a loving girlfriend turned wife - always supportive with HIS ISSUES including his damn drinking problem..............

Now I'm one of THOSE WOMAN who tells people Don't Get Married...
They Change....I know it isn't true for everyone but that's where I'm at today. If and when I get divorced...............I will NEVER do it again and I promise not to ever complain about not having a date, boyfriend, or husband.
I want my sanity back............I have my wonderful SON - I thank God for him everyday..........:cool:





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