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Just remember, when a woman does all the work, in a relationship, she creates a "lazy" lover. And why wouldn't he be? You are doing everything to keep it going, so he doesn't have to. Just back off and let him do some of the work, let him wonder where you are and what you are doing, he'll enjoy the hunt. If he doesn't step up to the plate, you might want to ask yourself if you are getting as much as you are giving, or if perhaps you are being taken for granted a bit.
[QUOTE=eve40]Just remember, when a woman does all the work, in a relationship, she creates a "lazy" lover. And why wouldn't he be? You are doing everything to keep it going, so he doesn't have to. Just back off and let him do some of the work, let him wonder where you are and what you are doing, he'll enjoy the hunt. If he doesn't step up to the plate, you might want to ask yourself if you are getting as much as you are giving, or if perhaps you are being taken for granted a bit.[/QUOTE]

i agree. i couldnt have put it better myself. i think i may take this advice myself.
I'm actually seeing this differently. It's clear that you are totally wrapped up in your relationship and have very little time on your own. Your entire being and essence of who you are is completely inter-twined with your relationship. You don't really have much of an identity outside of your relationship. That's why this is bothering you so much, because you're expecting your boyfriend to be your only form of entertainment, and you don't really know what you can do outside of your relationship to make yourself fulfilled.

This is actually a very unhealthy relationship. And I know this because I've been where you are. I've been in that position where I had no life outside of my relationship, and subsequently when the relationship ended, I was freaking out because I had no idea how to be alone. I didn't know who I was because I totally defined my entire being based on who I was within the relationship. It was a rude awakening. But at least I realized it and was able to become uber-independant. Subsequently, for the first time in my life, I'm in a relationship where I am really enjoying knowing that I am totally independant of my boyfriend, and I don't always need him to keep me entertained all the time. I can find stuff to do on my own or with my friends to keep me occupied.

You should strive to do more for yourself in your down time when you're not with him. But you should also not spend every waking moment together. You are spending entirely too much time together. That type of relationship rarely ever lasts, because inevitably, one of the parties involved gets really sick of always seeing the other person and wants out.

If you want this relationship to last, you need to start spending some time apart doing your own stuff. Whether that's joining a local pottery class or scheduling a shopping day with your friends or going to the movies with your sister, whatever the case may be - it has to be at least a couple of times a week. Otherwise, you guys are totally not going to last with the way you're carrying on.

Believe me, I've been where you are. All of the signs are there. I can't stress to you enough how vital it is for the health of your relationship to ensure that you are capable and able to spend time independant of one another, and that you don't spend so much time focusing on him when you're not with him. You do have a life when you're not with him, but you're just not living it. That's your biggest mistake.
[QUOTE=Bracelet]I'm actually seeing this differently. It's clear that you are totally wrapped up in your relationship and have very little time on your own. Your entire being and essence of who you are is completely inter-twined with your relationship. You don't really have much of an identity outside of your relationship. That's why this is bothering you so much, because you're expecting your boyfriend to be your only form of entertainment, and you don't really know what you can do outside of your relationship to make yourself fulfilled.

This is actually a very unhealthy relationship. And I know this because I've been where you are. I've been in that position where I had no life outside of my relationship, and subsequently when the relationship ended, I was freaking out because I had no idea how to be alone. I didn't know who I was because I totally defined my entire being based on who I was within the relationship. It was a rude awakening. But at least I realized it and was able to become uber-independant. Subsequently, for the first time in my life, I'm in a relationship where I am really enjoying knowing that I am totally independant of my boyfriend, and I don't always need him to keep me entertained all the time. I can find stuff to do on my own or with my friends to keep me occupied.

You should strive to do more for yourself in your down time when you're not with him. But you should also not spend every waking moment together. You are spending entirely too much time together. That type of relationship rarely ever lasts, because inevitably, one of the parties involved gets really sick of always seeing the other person and wants out.

If you want this relationship to last, you need to start spending some time apart doing your own stuff. Whether that's joining a local pottery class or scheduling a shopping day with your friends or going to the movies with your sister, whatever the case may be - it has to be at least a couple of times a week. Otherwise, you guys are totally not going to last with the way you're carrying on.

Believe me, I've been where you are. All of the signs are there. I can't stress to you enough how vital it is for the health of your relationship to ensure that you are capable and able to spend time independant of one another, and that you don't spend so much time focusing on him when you're not with him. You do have a life when you're not with him, but you're just not living it. That's your biggest mistake.[/QUOTE]

wow youve been recieving GREAT advice in response to your post. eve had a great point. and now bracelet has posted another genius piece of advice. listen to them very carefully. i think they may be right.
try to take time out for yourself. what have you always wanted to do? anything new youd like to take up? think about it. browse the internet. make time for yourself, learn to be by yourself. youll feel more confident, youll love yourself a lot more, he'll be attracted to that. he'll probably chase you a lot more. give it a go- do this for yourself for once and not him!

(bracelet- youve hit it on the nail for me i think- not being at uni, al my friends being away has made me a little miserable and moaney towards my bf- i think more time apart doing the things i love instead of sitting around moaning about the state of my relationship would do me good- my confidence has gone recently- i just need to spend more time away from him loving myself)





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