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sorry this is so long...i needed to get this out...please help?

I'm 20 years old and my boyfriend of two years, and I just broke up 2 months and 14 days ago. whenever i think im doing ok, something always brings me back to him.

we broke up 8 days before our 2 year anniversary and i love him more than anything but after 2 years he still couldnt say "i love you" and he got mad at some stupid things...but whatever...i took it all in and didnt talk to him for a while...we had originally planned ahead of time that we would go see pirates of the caribbean when it came out and we did and when i saw him, he laid down with me and we slept together that night...after a while, he told me he liked someone else but we still continued to have sex and he told her how he felt and she rejected him but i kept my distance, he should be the one to make the move...right? i mean, we would talk as friends b/c we were friends to begin with..

so i would sleep at his house b/c for the whole 2 years we were together, we cuddled everynight...and we would cuddle and then have sex and he would stop cuddling with me..i told him i still loved him and blah blah blah and he said he didnt see us ever getting back i keep my distance again...and just lst weekend he calls me and asks if i want to cuddle and ive just been SO incredibly lonely so i said yea but i had to work the next day and i ended up staying home...well the next day i brought him a coffee at work and he asked me to sleep over and i said yes and i went over and he wasnt there, but he left his key out for me. so i went up and fell asleep..he got home at like 3am and cuddled with me...then i woke up and we had sex and he continued to cuddle with me...throughout the night AND the felt sooo good and ever since then hes been avoiding me and ive just been hurt more than seems like ill never get him off my mind...

he just does things sometimes that make me think he has feelings like cuddles with me alll night and brings me food and stuff when im at work and wants to spend our hour lunches together and never fails to visit me at work when hes on his hour and i dont have one (we work across the st from each other)...i just cant help but think he still has feelings and hes trying to hide them...

sorry this is so long..i just have a lot of emotions right now that i cant get out....i dont know what he wants and when i ask he says he doesnt see us together, then why cuddle with me and have sex still and bring me coffee and food??

i try to move on but i know what i want and i think thats why im so upset over this....because i try to move on and when i think ill be ok, he comes back stronger than ever and its just a horrible feeling...

<3 Kristen

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