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Relationship Health Message Board


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Hi, I haven't updated my old thread or posted a new one lately because, in large part thanks to my friends here and their always great advice, I really haven't had any concerns or worries or problems to ask about. :) But I still wanted to thank you again and let everyone who took the time to help me out what ended up happening with all the drama I posted about earlier in the summer. As it turns out, everything worked out for the best, even better than I could have hoped actually. Since I started hanging out again with an old and very special friend of mine from high school, who I've always admired and adored, things have proceeded pretty quickly but also quite naturally into a real relationship. We were never romantically involved in the past except for the fact that I knew he had a big crush on me, but back in high school I almost always had another boyfriend so nothing happened with Brendan except for an occasional casual hookup.

But during college we stayed in touch, mostly as friends, and I also stayed in pretty close contact with his parents, who are wonderful people who have always gone out of their way to be really nice to me. I asked Brendan's mom for his email early this summer and we made plans to hang out...then basically as soon as I saw him, I was majorly smitten. I took him home that first night that I saw him again and immediately lost interest in the other guys I had been dating at the time. I was quite anxious/worried at first about all sorts of things, like whether we were anything more than friends with benefits, if we were going to tell other people about our relationship, whether I should tell him that I love him, whether various stupid things I had done were going to screw everything up, etc.

But you guys always helped by reminding me not to worry unnecessarily or create drama where none need exist, which was huge both in keeping me happy/relaxed and in keeping our relationship on track. I think Eve in particular reminded me not to stress out and just to enjoy letting our relationship develop in its own natural timeframe, which turned out to be reassuring as well as totally accurate. So, not worrying, not arguing, not having drama--all that is working out wonderfully. I love Brendan so much, as a close friend but also as much more. Also, for a neurotic overthinker like me, it's great to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't play any games and has no interest in making things difficult or dramatic. I used to think the best relationships were the ones with all the fireworks and soap opera stuff, and I was even thinking about getting back with my first boyfriend, who was the king of all that stuff around the time I started hanging out again with Brendan.

Fortunately all you helped me realize, gradually, that good relationships don't have to be stressful and confusing and difficult and complicated and fiery. It feels a lot more mature and healthy for me to be with someone and have us be completely honest and open with each other, each being able to have our own ideas and preferences and opinions without needing to argue on a personal level or play mind games of any kind. It's nice to have harmony without any uncertainty and to know I can always count on him to do what he says he'll do, to the point where I'm always confident that we'll hang out almost every single day or at least talk every day. He really likes that kind of stable relationship, and while I wasn't sure I was ready for something like that a few months ago, it seems really great to me now that I've found someone I like and respect so much. I just hope I don't end up back here before long with some new drama or problem I've cooked up in my head from worrying too much! :rolleyes: In the meantime, I just wanted to let you know how happy I am with how things worked out, and to let you know how much your insights have helped. I always like to see a happy ending here, and hopefully this will be one too. Thanks again everyone :wave:.





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