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Thank you everyone for your replies. I just wanted to clear some things up that I probably should have addressed in my first post...

My boyfriend was never the social type. Throughout our relationship, he lost many friends b/c he claimed, "I give them up for you." I have never believed in giving up social time or friends for a boyfriend, no matter how in love you are. This didn't correspond with my values.

So I still yearned to go out with friends and be social, but he frowned upon many of my friends. He is the one who told me that I always put myself and my friends before him, and he didn't like that. He began trying to control who I hung out with. We had many talks about this, throughout the relationship. Things were not changing.

I am a fun person. I like to do things, go places, have a good time... and I'm not referring to just "drinking." Many times I pleaded with my boyfriend to go to a baseball game with me, go to wine country and do some wine and cheese tasting, go to the movies, go on vacation with me, (I even offered to pay IN FULL! I was THAT desperate) or do a number of other "couple" things, but he ALWAYS had an excuse... no time, didn't feel like it, weather wasn't quite perfect enough, etc. etc. I felt my life was becoming so mundane. I saw friends who had long term boyfriends and they had stacks and stacks of pictures of themselves with boyfriend doing all kinds of fun things. To me, that is what is fun about being a couple with someone you love - you can share in the experiences of life! My boyfriend would rather always just "relax" at home. I felt I needed more in life.

But I did express to him many times about what I felt I needed from him, but he just couldn't give enough. It wasnt his fault - I just felt I needed something more that I just couldn't get out of him because it wasn't there to begin with.

Ok. Hope this makes a little more sense. Although I am 21, I didn't dump him just so I could go make the circuit on the party scene, but yes, part of my decision was fueled by the desire to have more independence without someone else breathing down my neck about every decision I wish to make.

I feel as though I have a good head on my shoulders, I am already in an accelerated program at my university, starting my MBA program before I even graduate. I get good grades, I feel I have good friends, and I have a steady job I enjoy.


But yes, anyways, I am still feeling desperately sad and depressed, and above all, guilty. I hate this. How long does it take for the feeling to go away? What is the best way to deal with things? I hear keeping yourself busy is good, but all I want to do is lie in bed and sob. :( Please keep the posts coming, it does brighten my day to read them, whether good or bad.





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