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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

It sounds to me like she's just not that into you. You said she hates her job, so then why is she so worried about her career? And if you know she isn't the type to want lots of physical attention, then why would you try to kiss her at that bar? Obviously you did so to "mark your territory" in front of those other guys, so to speak, and she can pick up on that. Women don't like that. Sounds like you are very insecure about the relationship and that's not healthy. She's picking up on that and that has turned her away from you. She also was somewhat untruthful with you when she said she would be at one bar but was at another. Perhaps she did go to the original bar but then left with those two coworkers to go to her regular bar. But, she didn't call to invite you to go with. You were checking up on her and she knows that. She felt funny about you kissing her --probably for two reasons. First of all she isn't that affectionate of a person, so kissing in public probably made her uncomfortable. Second, she may not have told those two guys that she was dating you or even that she had a boyfriend at all. So obviously she felt embarrassed by you kissing her. That's why she turned her cheek. What, did you want to force her to kiss you on the lips after she turned her cheek? You should have got the hint right then and not tried to kiss her on the lips again.

She broke up with you and then you tried desperately all weekend to get in touch with her, even sending her flowers. She told you what she wanted when she broke up with you. I don't think she was kidding! You need to respect that, even if it means a broken heart for you. It sounds like she is not the one for you. That means it is time for you to start healing from it and move on. With your age difference, she wants something totally different than what you have to offer right now.

I'm not really sure what you need to say during your coffee talk. You can express your heartbreak over the situation, as I'm sure she knows already, but seeming desperate isn't going to get her back. It may be impossible to get her back, as she's probably not the right girl for you. I think you need to apologize for kissing her in front of those guys when she had obviously given you the signal (by turning to her cheek) that she didn't want to be kissed. You can ask her why -- did she want to appear single to those guys? Probably so. If she doesn't want to continue the relationship with you, you need to respect that. No amount of begging can or should be able to get her back. Begging isn't healthy.

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