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Relationship Health Message Board


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Yeah...one month as of yesterday actually. As far as the ex-boyfriend goes, she has feelings for him (she's told me this, she's been very open about what she does pertaining to him) but he wouldn't ever make her happy because he's a financial bum (no job ever when they dated, she supported the both of them and he still owes her about 1500 that she's trying to get back), drug addict with crack and pot in their apartment, and also cheated on her countless times. She realizes she has feelings for him but will never be happy with him, if that makes sense. I really don't see her leaving me, not just from my point of view, from her best friends', parents, and what she's told me personally.

I can agree with the point that too much drama for being together for just 1 month though, and if things don't get to picking up affectionate wise I really don't see how I could be happy with her. Thanks for your post.
What about your heart? It sounds to me like you have a good heart - why isn't anyone looking out for that?

Listen, I have to tell you - typically, I am not an affectionate person. My last boyfriend never received PDA from me and he accepted that it was not my thing. I was not affectionate and he accepted it. Until I met my current boyfriend........I want to kiss and hug him at all times. Everything I thought that I was has changed completely because of how I feel for this person. My point is that when you want to be with someone and care deeply for them - you want to be around them, hold them, kiss them. That is a part of intimacy that you need to have. Without it, you are just friends. I realize that is what my ex boyfriend was to me - a good friend. I was in love with him - there was no passion. I am IN LOVE with my current boyfriend and truthfully, you either feel the passion immediately or you don't. Excuses of why you do not want to touch that person are just that......excuses...

It is not your job to put her back together. She needs to do that on her own. She is leaning on you because she knows that you will be her rock. She may care about you, but there is no passion and there never will be. She is passing time by convincing herself that you are good for her.....when in reality - her heart is somewhere else. It is just going to be harder on you the longer you wait this out, but I assure you......this will not have a happy ending





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