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OMG!! Thanks for the BPD info...now I'm crying my eyes out for him. It's SOOO him, I can't even begin to tell you how much. Now I feel like it's not even his fault, which was the thing keeping me strong. Now I'm a complete mess!!! Been crying for half an hour and I feel like hugging him--not kicking him! For God sake, I get that it's not a good scene, and impossible to have a good relationship with him, but how do you not feel...I dunno...ripped to shreds?? This is freakin agony...
[QUOTE=laurie864bla]OMG!! Thanks for the BPD info...now I'm crying my eyes out for him. It's SOOO him, I can't even begin to tell you how much. Now I feel like it's not even his fault, which was the thing keeping me strong. Now I'm a complete mess!!! Been crying for half an hour and I feel like hugging him--not kicking him! For God sake, I get that it's not a good scene, and impossible to have a good relationship with him, but how do you not feel...I dunno...ripped to shreds?? This is freakin agony...[/QUOTE]


Well Laurie - knowledge is power......
Sure I felt sorry for my ex-BF too, but I knew I didn't deserve to be treated like that, and after educating myself on BPD I knew there was just no hope for a healthy relationship. Whether it's his fault or not, the outcome is the same. Don't get sucked back in......that's what BPD's do best......they suck you back in......and nothing changes.
If you're interested, read "Stop walking on eggshells", taking your life back when someone you love has BPD.
It was a good book.
As sorry as you feel for him, please realize that you can't help him, and you will just destroy yourself in the process of trying. Walk away, or else go on the personality disorders board and read some posts from myself, ScaredWife and others who have partners with BPD......that may make doing what you have to do a little easier....
[QUOTE=laurie864bla] He's extremely judgemental about people, and they are good or bad in his mind.
BUT--he was not like this for 3 months--AT ALL. He was sweet, loving, attentive and kind. Was he on meds and stopped? Did they stop working? What happened to my beautiful guy??? It's just so sad.[/QUOTE]

Laurie the either good or bad is called "splitting" it's one of the characteristics of people with BPD....it's black and white, no in between.
The guy I was with was perfect for 3 months, and then the next 9 months were hell. That's when I decided that I've spent to long in the relationship, given him too many chances, realized that I was seeing a pattern of breaking up/making up, etc.....
Actually when I look back, I did see some red flags and I ignored them because it seemed like everything else was just rosy.....
search your mind, I bet you'll come across some too.....





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