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Relationship Health Message Board


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My girlfriend and I are have been going out for over a year. Recently we got into this big fight where we were contemplating perhaps just breaking up but we decided to work on things and see if we can get through it. This really isn't important, but I just thought I'd give you a back story.

Here's what happened. On weekends she bartends. She is a very friendly, outgoing person, so naturally a lot of the guys at the bar hit on her. In the past she has given out her phone number to some of the guys who frequent the bar. Not in the sense of dating of course, but randomly. One time it was because one of the guys wanted to send her a picture he had on her phone, another time it was for something else. What happens is these guys get her number and then start texting her about other stuff. Just saying "hi" or telling her goodnight. I got mad at her and told her that it wasn't appropriate and that I didn't do the same thing to her. She had said "ok, but that there was nothing to it, that these guys were her friends." I said "no they are your customers, theres a difference, etc, etc." Anyway, most recently there were 4 guys from a local lexus dealership (she just bought a used rx300) and she was talking with them and i guess told them about her new car. She only has one key so one of the guys said that he would get her a backup key no problem, so she gave out her number.

Now please tell me. I know I'm a guy and may be being jealous but are her actions wrong, or am i over-reacting? thanks for the responses (sorry it was so long).
bulletproof - I'm not placing restrictions on who she can give her number to, I just think its inappropriate when she gives it out without mention she has a boyfriend when the guy she gives it to has an agenda. In addition, I have never cheated and never will. You said I'm unsure as to what I would do in that situation, however I have been in those situations and just make sure to mention I have a girlfriend if I think the girl may be flirting. Because of this I think that she should show me the same respect that I show her.

As to everyone elses comments, I should clear up that these guys aren't her friends, they are just regular customers from the bar. Why does she feel the need to provide these guys with her number? Especially not mention me when talking with them. She's not a dumb girl, so I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt that she knows they are flirting with her. In the past (other instances shes mentioned above) she said she didn't know, but its pretty blatant (ie: texting her goodnight, inviting her to other bars to get a drink when she gets off work). I think I took the right approach to talk with her in the past about and told her it bothered me, but she keeps doing it.

I'm torn here, because its not the fact that she gave out her number, but because I've told her my feelings on it and she still hasn't changed.

So what do you all advise I do?





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