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I am new to this site as of today and posted my own question that also touched on this. Now let me tell you more detail on my own experience with this. I was married 8 years, dated my e on and off for 7 years before. After our second child, my ex started to act differently..We argued over things we would have never argued about before, the frequency of sex declined and she was spending time on the computer at unusual times, and she would go out to the store more frequently and she seemed to care less about me and my feelings. I always asked her if everything was alright because all of this was happening, she blamed it all on me saying I was working too much...mu work schedule has always been the same. Where am I going with this? I obtained phone records...I was shocked that there were phone calls being made to the same number consistantly..I knew something was up. The next time she said she was going out to the store in the evening (she was a stay at home mom and home all day, maybe could have gone to the store then instead of when I was at home) While knowing she was getting ready to leave, I did something underhanded but at the time I felt necessary. I picked up the phone, called my brother who lived very close by. Asked him to do me a favor and follow her. She left, he followed. 20 minutes later, he calls me. I asked what happened...He said the good news is I didn't lose her, the bad news is she pulled into this hotel at so and so. I was floored. She thought she was sneeky, I had to be too. I did a search on the phone number she called very often. The search revealed a small business name. I did a business name search on my state's secretary of state web site. FYI, that will give you the registered names and addresses of the principal owners. STAY WITH ME HERE I then called the hotel and asked if I could have Mr. So and So's room please..Expecting to hear no such person here, instead, the operator told me one minute please, He is in room 274, I'll connect you. I couldn't believe it...Now I new this info. I met my ex through my sister. I called her to tell her of my problems and for some advice. When I told her this guy's name she said, Oh my god, I know that name! That is a guy she went to school with and dated before you! I kept it together and asked her over the next few days if everything was okay and if there is anything she would like to rtalk about because I was upset we were having problems. I told hew we had 2 beatiful children and no matter what our problems were that we could work it out as long as we could discuss anything that was going on, and that maybe we could consider counceling. We went, she did not like it and continued to blame the simplest problems on me, that it was not anything wrong with her. I then took the stand with her that I was suspicious in her behavior but didn't mention details I already knew. She ignored me. The next time she said she was going to the store, I again called my brother. But this time instead of asking him to follow her, I asked him to come right over and watch my kids. He waited in his car half the block dowm. When she pulled out the drive way and went left, I bolted out the door into my car and headed right instrad to avoid a light and headed toward a mapquest observed short cut where I had a chance of many less stop lights and the use of the highway. My brother went into the house and watched the kids and I beat her to the hotel. As she waited to turn into the hotel parking lot, I had already been there for anout 2 minutes. I waited for her to exit her car and then exited mine. She must have heard foot steps behind her and she turned around and just froze as she saw me walking up to her. I said "Hey, what a coincodence meeting you here, are you here to see Vince Cl-----e? That's funny, me too, he is in room 274 and waiting for you! Would you like me to join you or do you want to visit with him first and tell me all about it when you get home later? I then turned around and left to go back home.

Okay, what does this have to do with your problem with your husbands emails? After all was said and done, and after the emails were retrieved fom the computer, My ex too began communication with this old boyfriend through classmates.com. The beginning emails started with innocent laughs and reminissing old high school times, then more into other things and flirting and then, "let's meet for coffee, then let's meet here. Today we are divorced with 2 kids. His wife dumped him too. They married each other to try to save face and because my ex and I now get along well for the sake of the kids, she admits that she is miserable and apologized to me numerous times. They are having problems trusting each other now, because he knows that she cheated on me to be with him, he cheated on his wife to be with her, the courting and honeymoon is over as they have been married for 2 years and she complains to me now that he works too much as she said to him before about me.

My advice to you, If you want to know the real reason why he is contacting her, be a little smarter. Also, if ther were such good friends, why did they not stay in contact all of those instead of making new contact again and are still going at it. I think your ralationship is in trouble, especially after he changedd his email address and password. I think you have every right to be suspicious and if he refuses to permentally stop, you should not feel guilty about snooping and take the proactive way to try to save your marriage with perhaps councelling before it's to late and he eventually crosses the line with her and destroy's your truct. 18 years is a long time to be married. Maybe there is something he is missing or no longer present in your relationship that he sees in her. After 18 years, he also owes you a better explaination about his behavior and his refusing to stop. Thanks classmates.com for making it so easy to dig up old fossils so easy that should have remained burried and forgotten....I truly wish you luck and strength to try to work this out.





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