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(had to reply my story is too long:p:p )

his daughter..my daughter is more of a daughter than yours!"...i cried and cried and cried..can u imagine telling a lil girl her dad would not be here for her b-day when just not too long ago i told her he was..she screeched and screeched...it was a bad day for me and her..like can u put away our diff..for the sake of our daughter?..i guess not...never had a present from him or nuthin...so anyway..i finallygot moved in..it was getting better..more room..lil bit less stress..then he started phoning yet again..saying he wanted to see the kids..i was like..u wants to see the kids now?...so tell me wuts so convieniant for u and see if i can pencil it into my intinerary<--i can be sarcastic when im mad:mad: :p ..but anyways..he showed up..never left..started staying here..so i was really confused..but then calls starting showing up again..here he was phoning her when i went to bed..im like how did she get my #?..because all of the times i had trouble with her..here it was ..i thinks he likes it myself..the drama...he knew i had to change my # for this purpose..the calls never stopped..all day..all night..so i had to chuck out another $50 to change my # again..believe it or not i had to do this 3 more times!!he knew to block my #..but decided not to..why?,,,makes no sense...k this story is getting too long now..to make things easier..he was back and forth between me and her..and everytime he was with me she would say she was preggers and when he would go back..she would say she miscarried..this happened 5 Times!!!..So today is SEpt 27th..she says she is preggers..go figure..she came up to me one day rubbing her belly saying she is pregnant..and that he was at her ultrasound..but his father says diff..he says he was with him all that day when she supposedly went to her ultrasound..so i dunno wut to think..and here is the update..he is back using drugs..never comes home..he used to use my car..but i put an end to that cause he would leave one day and not come back till 24 hours later..making up these stories..oh i forgot to mention..he is a pathological liar..he makes up lil lies..i mean frivilous things..just to talk..i believe..its an everyday thing i puts in the back of my mind..i think he is bi-polar..one minute he is on top of the world..next he is down to the dumps..next he is angry..its hard living with someone like that and to describe it..is hard to do..its strange..his mother is in denial, she thinks he dont do no wrong..he is an angel..but u can look at him and know if its gonna be a good day or bad day..like he is 2 or 3 diff.ppl...and when he is in a specific mood.he can get violent..hauled off and punched me in the face 2 months ago..still saying the kids ruined his life..and he wish he never had them..like thats how much he appreciates them..so now he dont have no car...no cell..no money because they are all my things and he is even more mad..i knows he is using me..so he is getting a taste of his own medicine..it sickens me how a human being can treat sumone who never did nuthing to him this way..and this is coming from my side..i knows you cant hear his side..but i swear this is all true..i cant see how i can do anything or be any more for him..he is never happy..he thinks im rich and my familyis rich..and he always holds that against me..which we r not..just an average middle class family..and he always says im a goody two shoes who never egst into trouble..like kill me if i dont wanna break the law or do drugs..like that makes me a bad person..he is mad at the world..and the ppl who "cared" about him..and the funniest thing is ..is that the ppl who do him wrong he praises..will do anything for them..which is so weird..really weird..like he has to impress them...like i said he really needs help in the baddest way possible..there is sumthing wrong..not just cause he is being a jerk..but there is sumthin there that is not right upstairs..he had psychiatrist appts..he never kept..like he dont want help..soi cant help him help himself if he dont want it..his sister says to me stay away from him..he dont deserve you..his gf already slashed his father's tires on his car...called thepolice saying they were harrassing her..same as she did me..mygod..i could go on and on and on..but i will use p all this forum..my point i am getting at is this..how can i move on when he keeps asking to see thekids and he keeps trying to control me in a way he wants to know who i am with and where i was to..even when we were broke up...?...ANd i have this thing about me that says i cant give up on him...not to have him as a bf..but as a friend..like he used to never be like this...he had a side to him that was sweet caring..affectionate..brought me flowers..stuff like that..but when our daughter came he went downhill...fast..i dont know wut went on...i dont wanna be with him anymore..no more of this anymore...but i dont wanna see him hurt or get into trouble either...god how can i be like this even after all i went through..and this is not everything..just way way too much info..but can anybody explain why i am like this?..why in my head i knows i deserve better..but that side of me wants to help?....im so fooled up its unreal..im depressed..very.and its making my everyday life unbearable..i have been raped at 15..been physically abused in my last relationship of 6 years and now this...why?..why?..why?..am i like this?:dizzy: :rolleyes: :confused: :mad: ..k thats it..my rant is over..thanx for the ear..and if u have any suggestion can u leave them for me..i really need some advise badly..please try not to be critical of my stupidity of always taking him back...i just have a thing about me to be nice..i dont know...help:dizzy:





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