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Relationship Health Message Board

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[QUOTE=citygirl23]So as much as Id love to accept her as she is, to be able to do fully, I almost feel that I have to make her less close of a friend. B/c if I cant count on her for that type of bond, i wont feel like we are as close. I can accept her as she is, but I will have to accept her as a friend that I just cant rely on for those aspects that I find so important in friendships. So I guess I need my space from her for a bit...I dont know.[/QUOTE]

I know exactly how you feel. I am going through the same thing. My girl friend wasn't there for me emotionally when I truly needed her. I now feel like I have to distance myself and accept that I won't have that close bond with her the way I would like. She's a lot like your friend. Just shuts down for no reason. All though my friend has a tendency to make everything about her. I personally do not agree with some of the choices she is making in her life, but they are her choices. I feel her life revolves around her boyfriend way too much. She is trying to find herself in him. She never has been single and enjoyed it. She's looking for validation of some kind. I know it is hard having a friend like that where you don't have the close bond like you would like. I can't rely on my girl friend to be there for me, but she knows I would be there for her in a heart beat. Maybe, I'm too giving or caring. Plus, she is having a hard time understanding the change in my attitude since this weekend. I may add that is a positive change. I had some eye opening experiences over the weekend and she just doesn't get that.

Okay, I've rambled enough and this isn't about me. I think you are doing the right thing. Accept her for who she is but also except the limitations of the friendship. I know that is hard. Always, here if you need to talk. Take Care!

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