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Relationship Health Message Board


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So, my boyfriend and I have been dating for about 2 and half months now. Just so everyone knows, I'm 18 and he's my first boyfriend, I've had no guy experience previously and I'm really non-trusting with people and guys especially. So.. back to the question/ story.....

Things are good, I like him, he's an awesome guy, I care for him and I feel attached to him but I'm not sure if I feel quite the same way he does (assuming that is how he really feels). From the start of our relationship, he was way more into me than I was into him- so in a small way it would make sense that he would come out and say this. He says he loves me and I just don't think I believe him, or want to believe him at that. The reason being that I really doubt he could feel that way so soon in a relationship. I really think he's leading me on, or just confused in his own emotions. And for that reason, I refuse to really let my guard down because I dont' want to start believing him and ultimatly end up getting hurt because I opened up emotionally to him. (Side note- our time together is limited. I'm moving to college in 2 months and I'm not sure where the relationship is gonna go to once that happens). He knows that I care for him, but I've never said anything back, I more or less refuse to talk about how I feel cuz it makes me uncomfortable, and I don't want to get more attached to him, seeing as I'm gonna have to leave very soon. He says it's ok and that he wants to give me time and the fact that I may not feel the same way towards him doesn't bother him... but in reality, put yourself in his shoes, do you think this sorta thing makes him feel miserable?

Imagine you told someone you loved them, and in response you get, " no you don't. you're just confused."? That is exactly what I said to him the first time. Is it really possible to have that strong of feelings for someone that soon? I basically think he's just infatuated and he'll get over it eventually... I have also flat out told him that I don't trust him (even though there is absolutely NO reason for me not to) and probably will never let my guard down with him or anyone else for that matter. (part of that, with him in particular, is the fact that his last girlfriend cheated on him, and maybe subconciously he'd want to do the same).

I guess I'm just worried that the things I'm saying to him are pushing him away. I don't want to push him away... I'm just really insecure and i really DON'T trust guys in relationships. I will talk to him, but I'm also seeking an outsiders opinion (preferably a guys?). Should I believe him when he says he loves me? And how do you think he feels when I project that I dont love him back and say that I don't trust him?





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