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Relationship Health Message Board

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My girlfriend and I just "dated" for about 2 months before we actually decided to get together officially and exclusively as boyfriend and grilfriend. I'm 18 and she's about to turn 21. We've been officially together for nearly 2 1/2 months now. And I just found out the worst possible news a few days ago.

Her ex-boyfriend came into my work and told me that she "stayed with him" on the 23rd, while I was hanging out with her friend. She moved about an hour away from me not too long ago, so I had been seeing her a lot less. Thinking back to that night, I remember getting a feeling of intuition and that something was wrong, I called her up and asked what was up, and she immediately got all defensive and said she was all by herself at her house. Alright then.

Well the details. Her ex-boyfriend is a piece of crap and treated her like one as well for 3 years while they were together. I'm talking over-controlling, mean, even beat her a few times. I've been told by herself and others who know her that I've been the nicest guy she's ever had, and the best one for her since shes been through so much.

Long story short, I got her to admit that she slept with him that night and lied to me. She says she feels terrible and all we have talked about since is that. Shes apologized so many times but I still feel upset, angry, and hurt. Many of the times we've talked (all of which over the phone, because shes been out of town) I have kind of taken my anger out on her. I have already said that I will forgive her and that I still love her, but I just need some advice or help on how to deal with the fact that it happened and that fact she cheated and lied. At this point in time, I feel like the feeling will never go away.

Oh, and one more thing, her 21st birthday is Monday the 9th. I had planned on buying her some really nice gifts and even told her I was going all out for her. After the cheating happened I vowed not to get her anything but a card, but yesterday at the mall I felt guilty and went and bought her one of the nice gifts I was going to get her. It put me in a bad spot though, becuase since this has happened she doesn't want to go out and do anything for her birthday and doesn't care what we do for the occasion. In a way I don't think she deserves anything from me after what she did but I want her to have a good birthday.

So how do I deal with this?

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