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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

I was in your place once. I was dating this guy for 8 years, over which time the relationship was horrible and it made me severely depressed. It was a really unhealthy relationship. And then I found out he was cheating on me with several girls. It was bad news.

I finally grew a pair and dumped him. Even after all of the mental, verbal and emotional abuse from him, I still cried and felt bad and went through the same emotions that you are going through now, even though I was the one who did the dumping.

It's normal, it's because you still have feelings for him. HOWEVER, that doesn't mean that you should spend the rest of your life feeling crappy over him.

It's ok to grieve for a relationship that died. That's ok. But then, you have to pick yourself up and say to yourself - HEY, I'm not going to give a crap what this loser does with his life anymore! Laurie, this is your time to do your thing and not worry about a guy who was hurting you enough to make you want to break up with him.

Remember what it felt like when your emotions didn't depend on another person. Remember who Laurie is and what she likes to do as an independant individual away from any relationships. Find out if you've developed any new interests that you can spend more time doing now that you have the time. Take a class or learn a new craft at your park district. I mean, basically your world is open to do anything and everything that you want to do, because you're not tied down to someone who was totally and completely holding you back.

And don't worry about what he's doing. Whether he starts dating someone else or stays alone, it's not your concern anymore. Let this new girl deal with his BS now, it's not your problem anymore - YAY for YOU! I mean, how great is it that you never have to be hurt by this guy again? Do you know what I mean?

It's really hard at first, and this is still pretty fresh because it just happened. But you need to realize that anything he does from here on out doesn't matter, it's irrelevant in your life. Because he's not a part of your life anymore. You're going to start over and make your life five million times better than it ever was with him! Because the best revenge against a loser ex boyfriend is to LIVE your life happily for real.

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