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Befriending an ex
Oct 19, 2006
so wow, about 3 years ago, I dated this girl for 6 months. everything was good until I found out that she was having mixed feelings between me and the another guy. I caught her and the guy together first time: we had a fight, but tried to work it out. same thing the second time. the third time, I caught them again, and I told her that I want her to make a choice, me or him.

The problem was that between the first and second time, I was befriending another girl(who is now my wife) because I lost trust in her, so I was basically losing feelings for my then 'current' gf, but I wasn't letting her go.

Even though I was losing feelings for my gf, I wasn't letting her go because I did not want to be lonely, so I held on to her(subconsciencely), until I grew a really strong interset in the new girl, and then I broke up with the old gf. It wasn't agreed upon by both parties, as she kept calling me and I just kind of ignored her and I know this hurt her.

at the time, I was mad because I felt she was cheating on me and I put all the blame on her. Now, fastforward to now, even though she was having mixed feelings, I could have handled this in a much better way. i.e, break it off completly, or really try to work it out. I feel bad now.
So 3 years later, now,, I've been working in this company for a year now, and just found out she is a new hire. we met the first day, had some akward moments, but after a couple of more meetings, I'm starting to feel comfortable around her, and I think her to me. She knows that I am married, but I dont know what is going on with her now. I'm really courious as to whether she is dating someone or not. I dont have any interset in dating her as I am married now, but I realy do want to see what is going on. I really have no idea whether she is mad at me or not, or any feelings that she might have towards me.

I really want to talk to her and just kind of apologize to her as I know that while we were dating, I wasn't being the best bf. But I"m afraid that this will just bring some bad memories or it will make us uncomfortable.

At this point now, I know she is a great person and I really want to be her friend and just kind of catch up on what is going on, but I dont want her to feel too akward.

1. do you guys think it is ok to just talk back about our relationship, or should I just forget it. is it too sensitive? is it too corny?

2. on a lighter note, how do I tell my wife? they both know eachother, and my wife gets kind of jealous. the ex gf is really friendly person and I enjoy just talking with her, but I dont want to have to lie over that.

does anyone have any experience in being friends with ex? stories?

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