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Relationship Health Message Board


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I can totally understand your situation, been through similar things myself, both me being jealous and my bf being jealous against me.

First thing is that other posters are right -- you and your GF spend way too much time together. You're still both very young and you should be out experiencing your own things in life. That's why your GF's mother is probably concerned. I don't think that encouraging her to see other people necessarily means she doesn't like you, she just understands and knows that her daughter is young and that you two have been together since a young age, and that meeting new people is part of gaining life experience and such.

But, I think that if you're in a committed relationship, you either stay committed or you don't. Obviously her mother doesn't have much respect for your relationship if she wants her to see other guys. I think your GF was trying to satisfy her mother -- I think her "white lies" are probably the same thing ... basically due to some underlying issues she may have about making her mom proud.

I think your GF's email to her friend about the incident was totally innocent girl talk. At least you know she didn't do anything with that guy. But searching her emails shouldn't be necessary.

It seems that you and your GF have one thing in common: low self esteem. Your jealousy is a sign that you don't think you're good enough for her. Her seeking attention from other guys is a sign that she needs guys to be interested in her in order to feel good.

Is one reason you hang out together every day so that you know for sure what the other one is doing and then you know for certain there is no cheating going on? That's not healthy. In a relationship you should be able to trust the other person.

I'm thinking that this may not be the right time and place for you both to be in such a committed relationship. I think you both need some time apart to really work on yourselves and learn to love yourselves. Sounds like you never got over your ex cheating on you and that's a big part of your low self esteem and your jealousy issues. If you were healed from that, I think you'd be more confident and trusting. With your GF, I think she jumped from one relationship to the next, without really getting a chance to get to know herself in between.

I'm sure you heard that absense makes the heart grow fonder. You need to learn how to trust her so that you can allow her to grow as a person and so you can grow as a person. If you were meant to be together, then you have your whole lives to spend all that time together.





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