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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


I do not know exactly how being overweight is, but I can take a guess. My aunt is very overweight, and it seemed that, for awhile, she was trying to control it and get trimmed down. But somewhere along the way, it appears that she just kind of gave up and is accepting that she will just be overweight. Along with the acceptance came a lot more weight gain, so now she is quite heavy and isn't really doing anything about it. I can imagine that it must feel pretty hopeless at times- you try at first to lose weight, but if you are very overweight, it seems pretty impossible to ever be 'thin' or even get down to a smaller size, as you just look at yourself as being so big. Its a hard thing to do, I mean look at the weight-loss market in the United States...isn't a multi-million dollar industry? Im sure that thousands of people have the same problem, in that they want to lose weight but feel so hopeless and wish to do it the quick and easy way, like popping a pill or something.

But, I think Jessbear makes a great point about her antidepressants. First off, a MAJOR side effect of antidepressants is weight gain. This happens a lot, from what I understand. If she was already on these when you met, and was already overweight, AND she upped her dosage...this goes to show that there is a lot more going on in there than she might let on. I mean emotion-wise. Maybe you can try to figure out what that is, why she is unhappy, if she uses food as comfort, how she feels about her weight. It seems like she is using food to assuage her problems, as you say she never exercises and eats junk often. That might tell you a lot right there.

I also agree with others that you should NEVER be negative toward a woman about her weight. If you do find it repulsive or unhealthy, suggest this to her in a positive way, i.e., becoming proactive. Things like joining a gym TOGETHER, cooking healthy meals for her, being really positive and supportive can really make a difference, and I also agree with others that you should make it more a concern about her health than about you.

With that said, I do understand how you feel. It is hard to look at someone that you love and not be attracted to them, not to mention be frustrated over the fact that they dont seem to care. This can cause resentment and I get that. However, I really would bet that deep-down, she doesnt want to be this way. And I would also bet that its not laziness, but a combo of depression, medication side-effects, and feeling hopeless about changing. Hope I helped.
[QUOTE=Nicole27]Wow, that's what I wanted to say! Completely true.

My boyfriend is the right size for his heighth I guess. But all he does is eat junk food, sodas galore-Mtn. Dew, fried, gross food. That's a turn off to me because he is unhealthy... So you def can be skinny and have a nice body but be completely unhealthy on the inside..[/QUOTE]
Your bf is either in his 20th when in general people can eat anything but having bad eating habits can cought up with him later. It is possible he is doing phisical job, so this calories get burn.
I am eating much unhealthier than my husband although he make me gave up some types of food, but generally it is my business. He made me take phisical and I was ok althoug I am mildly overweight but I have hard time to give up foods I like.





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