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A little confused
Nov 8, 2006
Hey everyone,

Sorry this may be long!

I have been dating a guy since about March this year but we have been awesome friends for over a year. We get along together really really well but like everyone we have our little disagreements. We have never had a major argument though. 2 months ago we had a little disagreement and it upset me alot so I told him that I just need some space for a while. Since then, I have tried on a few occasions to catch up with him but he always says that he is busy with work. Although he says that we will catch up soon. About 3 weeks ago, he was djing at a bar and he invited me to come along. All of his work mates were there including this girl who came up to me and told me that he is an awesome guy and just to stick with it and everything will be ok and that he talks about me all the time at work. He messaged me 2 days later and apologised that he couldn't talk much because he was djing but we will catch up soon. Since then, I asked if he would like to catch up Friday 2 weeks ago but he was going to a comedian show with work mates. I said that's ok and hope you have a good time.
His best friend who I dated before him has been in contact with me recently. I met the guy I'm currently dating through his best friend who I previously dated. We caught up for coffee on a friend to friend level. Last Saturday I went to a 21st on a cruise around the city and I invited the best friend along. I really really wanted to invite the guy I was dating along but I have tried on many occasions to catch up with him and he says he is busy and doesn't make any alternative arrangements to catch up with me so I decided to invite the best friend along instead. I didn't know if I was doing the right thing or not. After the cruise I went to a nightclub with this guy I previously dated before the other one. We were both sober and during the night he told me that he wanted to kiss me. I backed off because I have currently been with his best friend and there is no way known I was going to get back with this guy while I hasdn't sorted things out with the guy I was currently with.
Anyway yesterday, I finally caught up with him properly for the first time since our little disagreement 2 months ago. He said he was a little annoyed with the fact that I invited his best friend to the cruise and not him. I simply said that I really wanted him there but since he hasn't made an effort to catch up with me and talk things through I decided to invite his best friend along. He told me that he has been hanging out with some other girls himself. He said in a way that he was happy that we have had a little break because it has given him the chance to do his own thing and to find out what he wants. I said that I understand. He told me that both of these girls he is not interested in on a relationship level and that he has not slept with either of them. In other words nothing sexual has happened. One of these girls was his work mate that came up to me at the bar he was djing at to tell me to stick with him and everything will be ok. He has been to parties with her and one night she called him up at 2am to say she is having a few problems and she wanted to come to his place. So in other words she spent the night with him although he said that nothing happened. Last night I went to the movies with him and during the movie he was doing a lot of text messaging. He was messaging her and telling her that he feels an attraction to her and that he doesn't want to lose her. He wrote that he enjoys hanging out with her. He was calling her babe.They went to a party together and she kissed another guy and that upset him also because he says you don't kiss others while you have invited someone else out. I told him what does it matter because he isn't interested in her as a girlfriend and he said it just makes him feel like an idiot. I know I shouldn't be reading other peoples messages but it's not like he was trying to hide it from me. After the movie, I asked him what he meant by him saying he doesn't want to lose her all and he said that I shouldn't be reading his messages and I simply said that he shouldn't be messaging others when he is out with me. He said that he didn't want to lose her as a friend and that I haven't read what she has written to him and that I probably haven't read all of what he has written to her. I then went and asked him where I stood with him and if we were to go back to dating and he said that we should just be friends for a while and see what happens. I feel as though he is dong this with his work mate and that he will pick the one he likes best. He told me that is garbage and that he is not sleeping with anyone and nothing has gone that far with anyone since me. He said that he is not hiding anything from me and that he could of simply switched his phone off and messaged her without me knowing and he could of kept the whole thing secret and not told me about any girls at all. I know he has been completly honest with me because he is an honest person. He always tells me what goes on.
I'm really not sure what to do with all this. Since our disagreement 2 months ago, not a day has gone by where I haven't thought about him. I really want things to go back to the way they were, but it seems he is not all that interested or that he needs more time. He did say we'll be friends and see what happens. Should I be friends with him or should I just cut my losses. I have not contemplated dating anyone else or spending the night with anyone and I didn't kiss his best friend after the cruise because of him. I am completely loyal and would never do that to anyone. What should I do?

Shorti xx





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