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Re: Torture
Nov 18, 2006
Hi Gypsy :wave:

[QUOTE=GypsyArcher] And so now I'm thinking, wow...because I've never known anyone that I was both physically AND emotionally attracted to. Seriously, this is a whole new experience for me. Maybe not a positive experience necessarily, but a mind-blowing one. I've been with hot guys that were total jerks (and not even good in bed to boot) and regular ol' good guys who just didn't make my heart race. I've never actually been involved with someone who I was both drawn to like a magnet AND cared about their life. This is new to me, and endlessly fascinating. [/QUOTE]

Judging by this statement, you've never been in a 'proper' relationship before. I mean, where the feeling is pure, and not, as you say, a bit of an 'experiment' for you. Perhaps you should use this bad situation as a learning experience - this is how we progress in life after all. Now you know that true feeling that you are looking for... and Andrew has shown you that feeling. You have said yourself that you need to break free from him and your current boyfriend which I still think is important, for the sake of everyone involved. But now, you can go out into the world again, armed with this new sense of 'love', and know exactly that feeling that you are looking for again. And when you find it with the next man, well, then you will not feel so unfulfilled and you will be working and building on a great relationship instead of a dead-end one.


But yeah, I know you are all still saying that I need to cut and run from both of them. And, you're right. I know that. But you know what guys? I'm so afraid that if I lose Andrew completely, then I'm not going to know happiness like that again for the rest of my life. I feel like I want to stockpile every possible moment I can get with him, and start a big enough fire that it can keep me warm for the rest of my life. [/QUOTE]

I know this feeling. I know it all too well. And I have my doubts too - all the time. It is so difficult after you have gone seperate ways from that 'first one' that you feel deep love for. But everyone tells me it WILL happen again, when the time is right, and with the right man... and I am starting to believe that. Holding on to someone in the fear that you will never find love like that again is very damaging when it is not returned. It often drives them further away aswell. I have been going through this lately, and it is no good. It is time to search for it elsewhere, and have faith that it will be found. Some feelings never truly die inside you, but it is always our choice to act upon them or not.

Everyone here has written some great responses, and I hope you will take them in. You do seem intelligent and of a very independant mind - but perhaps you wrote the initial post with your own theories and answers already in mind, and you are very eager to debunk any thoughts that don't coincide with this? You seem very determined to stay with your boyfriend, and for who's sake, I'm not sure. And what Lion said about giving just with the expectation of recieving something in return... that is so true. Giving shoudl be just that - giving. And the one you love and who loves you, well, they are always worth that.

On a side note, how old are you? Just trying to get a clear picture of the life stage that you're in.

Take care :)

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