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Relationship Health Message Board

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I have the exact same problem with my boyfriend and his ex(s). I've always been an insecure person, and even though I've improved over the years, certain fears are always still there. It's natural, I think, for most people to be slightly threatened by an ex, even guys.

It's even worse when you haven't met the ex. I've met one of my boy's ex's and my worries faded afterwards. But there is another that I have yet to meet. I still have a problem with her, despite his reassurance, because from the very beginning she told him that she didn't want to know a single thing about me, didn't want to know of my existance, not to mention the fact that she ends their converstions with "I love you" and gets upset when he doesn't say it back! So what else am I suppose to think, other than she has bad intentions!!?

I do not like that he still talks to her on occassion but, I have to remind myself that I am still friends with some of my ex's and I know that my boyfriend has nothing to worry about, so the same goes for him and his friendship with her.

I think the only way to get passed ex's is for your security with yourself and your relationship to grow. You just really need to trust him. Of course there's the whole "I trust you, I just don't trust her" thing. Jealousy is such an ugly emotion. I swear it only exists to destroy things!

However "irrational" our fears are, they're still there, and we can't control how we feel. You have to trust that he will be honest with you. That seems to be the only solution that I can think of.

Good luck.

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