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You sound exactly like me!! Wow... it's the same thing I went through... TWICE!!! Two ex's.
He had a tendency to remain friends with people who have stabbed him in the back... which I couldn't understand one bit.

When I realized he was talking everyday online to an ex girlfriend I got upset, especially after I read what he had been writing... but that's another story.

Even before that though, I was paranoid about him talking to his ex gf's regardless of what they talked about.

There were two girls in particular, one was a 2 year relationship and they had been good friends before they dated, and the other was a 4 month fling... anyway they both found him on ******* and that's how they rekindled their friendships.... I didn't like it one bit. The same thoughts went through my head - what if there are still feelings there that linger?

My only advice is to trust him with all your heart... I wasn't able to do that and after over 2 years we finally broke up last week because I was so insecure. He said he can't be in a relationship where he trusts me 100% but doesn't get that trust in return.

So I know it's hard... really really accept that they still talk, but it's not uncommon. You just have to try to trust him... or else you may lose him, and it doesn't sound like that's what you want :(
[QUOTE=ladyjustice]Hi everyone, I have been with my boyfriend now for a little more than 2 years. An issue that has always bugged me throughout our relationship is that he is still friends with his ex. They broke up about four years ago and they had been friends for a long time before they started dating. Anyways, they went out for about 2 and a half years but then she cheated on him. They still remained friends afterwards.

I don't know why this bugs me so much. I mean, he tells me all the time he loves me. He hasn't actually seen his ex in a few years (they live in different states) but they do talk on the phone every now and then. I know my fears are a bit irrational, but I just don't like the fact that he is still friends with her and that they call each other up. I told him that I would prefer that he doesn't call her but that he just talk to her when she calls him.

Right now, we're temporarily doing the long distance thing. I am in California and he is Illinois, but hopefully he will be able to move out here in a few months. I don't know why I feel so threatened by this friendship that he has with her. I know they were really close friends before (probably best friends) before they started dating.

He reassures me a lot that I have nothing to worry about, and that he is with me and loves me and wouldn't want to get back together with her. Then why do I feel so insecure? How do I deal with this w/o always wondering if he's calling her or vice versa? My biggest worry is that if they talk enough his old feelings will come back for her or vice versa. Since I've never met his ex before I don't know what her intentions are. I know she is dating someone right now, but who knows if she has any lingering feelings for my bf? Am I just being totally paranoid? How do I deal with this? :confused:[/QUOTE]

I think you have nothing to worry about.But if you feel that strongly about it just tell him you can't except it and that he must drop all communication with her.I'd be willing to bet that he was a very good to friend to her, and she had called him probably to talk to when she was upset about something.A good friend can help you see "the other side" some times that is hard to see. If she is a true friend of his she will respect "you" his girlfriend and never call him anymore.I really think you should tell him how you feel.
Personally I would never do anything to hurt a male friend of mines relationship that he had with his girlfriend and I would not call him and upset her like that.That is just wrong.And any true friend would respect the "girlfriends" feelings.

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