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Relationship Health Message Board


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Sad and Confused
Nov 14, 2006
I am in a 7 year relationship. 1 year ago we got engaged and since then things have gone downhill. Like any relationship there have been peaks and valleys, but the last year has had a lot of sadness as well. She was diagnosed with depression shortly after the engagement, which she still battles with today. Recently I have felt myself pulling away from her. I love her to death and can't imagine my life without her, but also think there is a lot missing from our relationship. We are partners & best friends but the passion is lacking. There is also a lot of negativity that comes with her depression and her nature.

I have always had attractive, flirtatious, female friends and taken it for what it was. There's been lust and struggle with temptation....but always did the right thing. Lately, however, I have gotten closer with a newer friend who embodies many of the things I treasure in life (possitivity, energy, fun, adventure). The feelings I have for her are unlike anything I've felt in many years. Looking at a picture of her puts the old butterflies in the stomach--and it's not because she's a model-type, or anything shallow like that. I just feel a deep attraction to her that is making life very confusing.

I'm not even positive what my question is, but more than anything had to tell somebody (even strangers). I guess something along the line of: how do you know when to walk away from a relationship? How do you decide? I am completely torn between my long-friendship-based love for my fiance and my falling in love with this new woman. One thing I would not do is simply jump ship to be with this new woman--as that could easily fizzle. But what it does show me is what could be.

Any thoughts, words of experience or advice are greatly appreciated. Thanks.





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