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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

I've been there, I know what you're going through. Imagine how great your life would be without him in it. No more worrying if he's cheating on you (Oh and by the way, I totally think he has - if that doesn't cause your stomach to ache, just think about it again).

When you leave him, no more listening to him lie about pot smoking (oh and, he's NOT -- repeat NOT -- going to quit that at his age, he'll just lie about doing it. All his friends do it and they don't see it as being a drug or addictive. Most pot smokers don't see anything wrong with it - trust me, I know because I'm one of them! You are just going to be seen as the overprotective gf who doesn't understand because she doesn't smoke herself).

And when you leave him, no more having him control your life -- you can go out to the bars and also talk to your good old guy friend again! And guess what, I bet you'll get hit on by so many guys at the bars that it's not going to take long for you to get over him. Going out to the bars when you're 22 and female is super fun and you do not want to miss out on that!

Plus, are you going to be graduating college soon, starting a career? Being with him could really mess that up -- because you're going to have to be to work on time, every day, and then thinking about work after work, and it is hard for anyone's brain to deal with a new career and an unhealthy relationship at the same time. I know, I'm a career woman now and unhealthy relationships have caused me to lose jobs (and I'm no idiot, graduated with honors from a respected university at age 20). I've had abusive controlling unsignificant others call me at work to start fights and all sorts of immature things -- it is not professional and your employers aren't going to understand. Think about all the reasons you're going to college and all of your goals. He can smash those goals down with a few simple lies! Don't let him take all that away from you!

Take the intiative and break up with him. Just do it! Then stop talking to him completely. If you want to know what he's up to, just ask me, I can pretty much tell you what he's going to be doing after you dump him: smoking lots of weed, probably drinking lots and partying with his immature buddies, maybe meeting a few young "loose" girls and maybe getting himself a nice old STD, probably going to be holding down a job for oh, about 3 months at the most each time before getting fired. Oh and at 19, that's a good time for pot smokers to experiment with harder drugs, too. He's also going to have financial problems, especially after getting arrested for DUI. But what's going to happen to you? You're going to be a big time "catch" when you start to meet other guys because you're smart, educated, you're probably fun to hang out with (considering your partier boyfriend did fall for you, you know) and you've been there, done that, you know the ropes, so to speak. You're going to meet someone who is also educated who is going to sweep you off your feet, and someday, you'll look back at this immature little boy you're dating and laugh at him.

You may think "oh but he's so special, unlike anyone else I've met. Plus he's so good looking - can I find someone else as good looking? What if I don't, etc., etc." Of course you think he's so special, but he's really a dime a dozen.

Seriously, break up with him. Break up with him! I used to say that most men don't grow brains until at least age 25. I think this is very true in regards to him. YOU ARE NOT GOING TO CHANGE HIM!

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