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Should I persevere?
Nov 21, 2006
My bf split up with me almost 5 months ago after 2 years. It was one of the hardest things I've ever dealt with, mainly because I don't believe that we needed to resort to that. We never rowed, cheated, or any of the usual things that happen when a relationship isn't working. Simply, I had some problems which temporaily altered my moods for several months and I didn't realise this until it was too late.

Despite him wanting us to be really good friends - as he said he'd never want to hate me, which is what he feared might happen if we stuck with it - we barely had any contact. I did the usual to try and get him back, emails, texts etc which i know upset him further. He vanished off my msn contacts and for several months i didn't hear from him.

Recently though, he's been back in contact. I was reluctant at first to respond to his first emails which seemed to result in him reappearing on my messenger list. He tried to contact me on that as soon as I signed in the first time - but I choose not to reply. This clearly upset him as he messaged me to ask why I wasn't talking to him. He was quite persistant.

I then made contact and we chatted several times. It was all light hearted and he was very jokey with me, and nothing was mentioned of our break up. He also said we should meet up for a coffee if I still wanted to. One evening I was out on a 'date' and bumped into him. It was so tense but he came over and said hello, but he mainly chatted to my date as they'd met online. That night, for the first time since our split, he text me. It seemed very strange to ask 'how I was?' considering we'd only seen eachother a few hours before. I replied that i was ok and asked him how he was. He said his mate got him drunk and I should tell the mate off. That was it.

Last week he asked me to meet him as he also wanted an item of his back. I felt I had to go as the item was too big and fragile to post. So we met, chatted, laughed, browsed some shops etc. It was a little awkward but we soon slotted back into how things were usually. He was aware I was heading out with someone after our meet and asked a couple of times who it was. He was also meeting a friend we both know for a quick drink and so had to wait for him. When I left, he said for me to call him and he told me when he would next be out of town (just before christmas)

About 30 mins after, I got a text from him saying he'd be late as the tube was slow. Clearly not meant for me - so I responded 'eh?' - it was odd because he was meeting this friend and wasn't travelling on the underground, also if he was then my texts wouldn't have got through straight away. I got no reply, so text later again to say he sent me that text by mistake and that it was good to see him. Again, he didn't respond until later that night when he asked me something about the thing I'd returned to him. No mention of that 'accidental' text message.

I really don't know what to make of all this and I don't want to ask him outright what's going on. Part of me is thinking that he's missing me and maybe having a few doubts whilst another side thinks maybe he's just thinking time has moved on enough for us to be friends. He seems overly jokey when we do chat which indicates he's trying and his recent contact does seem out of character.

I don't know whether I should carry on as we are and maybe see where it leads or just give up and ignore him again. I do love him just as much as I did and i do believe that we could make it work and be very happy together. I feel that I'm out of my depth with this and don't want to make the wrong decision. I really need some advice as I'm not coping at all.


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