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Thank you all for your support. I'm working through this with the best advice.

At this point I believe his friend has bad intentions and is trying to use his friendship to urge my boyfriend to discontinue our relationship. I think this because of all of the times I tried to make amends with this person in a variety of ways and he somehow tried to use these times against me as reason that he didnít like me, or to take badly about me to my boyfriend.

I talked to my brother in law and he gave me another piece of advice: since this friendship is long term, this will be a very hard decision for my boyfriend, I must back off and allow him to think things over while preserving myself and thinking about what I truly want.

Being the holidays and all, we kept our plans that we had before all of this happened. (I don't want to feel depressed or attract attention with my family.) We went out with another one of his friend on Wednesday (a really nice longer term friend of over 10 years). On a side note all these guys came up and hit on me when we were out LOL. hey, I guess that helps, right?

He also came over for thanksgiving at my family's house which went ok. I also spent alot of alone time just relaxing without him.

After talking he told me that what he said about having no future together was out of anger, he reassured me that he would like a future together, he loves me very much.

I've decided that while we can see each other, I no longer want to be intimate with him or see him as much as he works through these issues. This would give him more space while giving me the peace of mind that I'm not just being used/ while slowly being weaned off of him. (I don't want to be intimate and continue to feel closer to him if he ultimately decides to have friendship with his friend over me.)

On further note, I truly think that he is struggling with processing the information that his friend is being manipulative (of course, since they were friends so long, and who does these kinds of things anyway?)
Either he'll come out of this realizing that his friend has a character flaw when it comes to him having a girlfriend, or he'll have to learn this lesson with the next woman in his life, or never. In this case, he'll have a very lonely life, with the exception of his one best friend.

I'm feeling bad, but not guilty. I truly tried everything to make amends with this person while preserving my dignity and keeping their friendship. I think this is just one of those people that are not respectful of women or just warped. not sure.

At this point, if he decides he wants a relationship with me over his friend, I will love him and take care of him, but I will have to work through my personal insecurities after all of this mess. However, I'll do it with no problem. True love (if this is true love) is worth it.





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