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Hi people,

Yes i know its very long and may sound very superficial and petty but please hear me out anyways.

Well i'm 21, an art student and also workin fulltime hours as a dental assitant. I have been working there for 9months now and the dentist who's 29 who i've been dating for a month now is really getting on my nerves. In the begining i was quite intimidated etc because his my boss and all but then we became friends to the point of knowing each other inside and out... and then the constant fights began (when his trying to get closer to me by being nice and me not wanting him to like me). I did not like him at all in that way because i was not attracted to him. He on the otherhand would do so much for me when i don't even ask and i felt so bad he did those things.. at first it was i felt sorry for him.. because he doesn't have many friends, always at work then home by himself..his like a little kid..loves his smallville etc..

but one day i needed him because my mum was sick etc and he was always there and thats when i fell for him.. because he cared so much for me and accepted me.. (i see a psychiatrist every 3 weeks because i've got adhd and anxiety issues with borderline personality tendancies...) And the dentist knows all this and he accpeted them...but still liked me anyhow. So one day i got the nerve to ask him what this was all about him always there etc.. and then yes all the feelings were layed on the table and i accepted and we went out because i knew i can trust him with my life even..(that's how close we are since spending practically everyday together only us 2 at work always talking, eating, fighting etc) --- people even think we're a married couple.

Things started out great, both our parents love that we're going out.. and pretty much wants us to get married..(he says in about 1 or 2 yrs) which freaks me out.. at first i thought yes his the one (all my previous bfs were not committed neither was i) but sometimes now it freaks me out because since his parents are on his back on marriage etc.. scares me a little.. and seems more real.

These days i am exhausted from work, home life (mums sick so i take care of the whole household), bought a new puppy and she was sick had to take her to emergency.. everything was so much pressure and i i have been having 4 hrs sleep or none the past 9months. So yes my emotional side is not very well.. i snap and cry so easily.. even broke out in hives and total body numbness because of exhaustion.. but he takes it all.. and still his there.. i love him for that.. I know his for real..his still a virgin believe it or not.. even if i don't look like one i am a virgin also. So both of us want to save it for marriage, so knowing this, i trust him more.

Anyways apart from the fact that we fight alot etc... he has 'the worst' fashion sense. I know this is so superficial but it really gets on my nerves. Its embrassing to take him anywhere!! usually i do not care what guys wear.. but he wears jeans from almost 20 yrs ago. He has one pair, they are like really massive in the crotch area and it goes in tapered! It's ultra highrise... he always wears it.. he has money to buy more clothes.. but his like obsessed with them. His already short and quite abit heavyside.. makes it look unattractive. His not usually the type of guy i go out with... he really does not care about clothes.. aslong as his comfortable his fine. All his youth has been spent on studying etc.. and been living on his own for 11yrs because of school and the practice etc.. plus he doesn't have many friends to tell him otherwise. His house is full of clothing from the 80s or clothing that my father wont even wear.

Only okay clothing is his work clothes (white shirt, black pants). I really don't like his other clothes..(his brother who's in same situation being a dr and always studying dresses pretty well) but anyways i tell him they look so old and its embarassing..lets go get new ones.. and he will go okay but get passive aggressive. I do not want to sound up myself at all, but i do like to dress well and look good for my partner etc.. his always saying how hot i am, how he can't believe someone like me is with him.. well i am with him because i trust him completely and with my issues and insecurities he knows it all and i can be myself and relax. But when he wears really 'off'..its embrassing and i get unattracted to him and start acting differently. My friends have even said his a great guy but his clothes.. man.. he looks like forrest gump or steve erkle or whatever. My parents who don't care for fashion etc..tell me i'm so superficial but understand because 'the jeans'... its that bad.

At the same time his soooo immature. I feel like i'm 10 years older than him. He loves smallville, has every episode, dls every new one and loves the movie 'highschool musical'... my dr reckons he has obessive compulsive disorder.. he has to have everything cleaned and sterilized.. his house is spotless.. he runs the dishwasher when theres only 3 dishes in there.. like 4times a day.. same thing as washing clothes.. he can't go to the toilet to poo anywhere except his home (he'll travel over 30mins just to use his toilet)...he stocks up on everything from deodorant to cereal.. like 7 boxes..there's nowhere to store it so its like in his living room.. Sometimes i'm scared i'm going to drop abit of food and quickly remove it because he sees it.. he'll clean it.. (i'm pretty obsessive myself and clean.. need everything in order) but he is by far worse. As my dr says i've certainly met my match..i'm very sensitive.. so is he.. he picks up on everything.. if i have hair splitends he'll notice and has to tell me.. things like that annoys me.. like i'm under a microscope. But some things his so blind a typical guy LOL!

So anyways i know this post is everywhere in construction of it but please help with him not wearing the jeans or his disturbing clothes around me LOL. Any ladies or men willing to give me advice?? I really want to be attracted to him but not with them around!!!!!! >=(... I've already bought him normal looking casual shoes and polo top but he doesn't wear them!!!!!!! >=(
Hi people!!

Thanks so much for your reply!!

Its interesting what you guys have been saying and some of it is true and some i'm not sure.. His a capricorn, born on 22nd dec, and i'm a capricorn 7th of jan. With the whole attraction part.. we clicked right away just before and during our relationship and did things both of us never done.. we've been very intimate.. everything except intercourse. I would not have done any of those things if i did not have feelings for him or right . So yes right now i'm very confused.. sometimes i feel like i love him heaps.. and if he doesn't call or acts differently i get all girly and starts panicking...

Our constant fights are over little things like married couple fight about.. i've seen all his imperfections so has he of me. We eat, fart, sleep, shower i even groom him as in (i know sounds gross LOL).. we do things as if we've been together for 5 years. He cleans my teeth.. because his a dentist lol.. so everything of me.. his i feel incredibly comfortable.. and we laugh alot and joke.. but then when fights like (recently he took pictures of me and i deleted some because it was so horrific haha) and he got so mad.. and passive aggressive.. what a kid..i thought.

Before and in the beginning he would always come over and say hi to my parents etc.. but nowadays he says he feels so overwhelmed and anxiety driven and scared to eat and meet my parents incase he does something stupid and they reject him. He couldn't even eat properly on that night.. but then i tell him its important to me that he treats them good (i'm very close to my family) and to come in say hi etc.. cause its rude sometimes (from an asian background). His chinese, and i'm korean, both born in australia. So there are a couple of culture clashes...

Anyways.. usually when i fall for a guy (bad guys who are no good) i get so anxiety driven and flushed all the time.. i'm like a red tomato haha!.. but with this guy.. i dun get butterflies or anything.. we don't even really date.. usually our life is work, eat, then home..his or mine (sometimes i sleep over). Its always a routine for us....

Sometimes before we went out when i didn't like him.. i always felt so bad because he was always there.. buying me things.. he took in everything i did.. like when i scream and cry because i'm so exhausted etc.. (yes i'm a bit of a weird one lol)..

Sometimes i think he looks good and feel yes its right..and when i look into his eyes i get tears because i think his the one.. but the way he dresses etc when we go out is an issue. When we're just by ourselves.. its less of an issue.. even though it plays on my mind a little.. i don't really care for it. But its when i have to take him to places my friends hang around etc.. that i get nervous because it's embarssing..

Its probably all me.. being all superficial.. i'm probably the one who has to change.. i don't know...

STILL CONFUSED...... >=::::(

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