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I think it's common for couples to go through something like this at some point during their marriage. Sometimes it's the man; sometimes it's the woman.

You need to figure out a way to convey exactly what you've written on this post to him -- although, I wouldn't bring up how you're more attractive than him and he should feel lucky to have you because of this.

He didn't listen to you talking about this before. Try again, use a different tone, have child care set up so that you two can talk about this uninterrupted. A letter might work, too. He needs to understand this isn't his wife just "nagging" or creating a honey-do list for him.

There might be something bothering him, too. This would be a good opportunity for him to get anything off his chest, as well, that might help improve the marriage. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in one or two issues of our own, that we don't even realize that something else is suffering, for example, due to resentment on our part and resulting in an even further impact on our issue.

It's sort of like a house with several areas in disrepair. You can't just concentrate on one broken part of the house that [I]you[/I] want fixed. If you do, the other areas just get worse and worse and often can impact the one area of the house you're currently trying to fix. What good is putting a fresh coat of paint, new fixtures and groovy wallpaper in the bathroom if you've got a roof leak in there that's not being addressed? It's important to step back and look at all aspects that need some work.

I've got to tell you, a few years into my marriage, I was the one who needed "a talking to." DH tried a few times to communicate his feelings, and I don't know, but the discussions just seemed to go in one ear and out the other. Don't get me wrong; I loved him -- and still do! -- with all my heart, couldn't imagine my life without him, but I'd just gotten a little bit too comfy with marriage and forgot it was work to keep a marriage alive, spicy, sensitive and healthy. He was doing 80 percent of the work, and I wasn't doing my part. When he had tears in his eyes and said the words "counseling" to "save" our marriage, it was a BIG wakeup call for me. That was all I needed to hear to get my butt in gear.

Sorry to go off on a tangent, but I think you need to find that button on your DH to give him that wakeup call. And I would definitely prepare yourself, if this is a serious, honest, open discussion, to hear some feedback from him on ways he feels you could improve. Were you different when you guys were dating?

Best of luck in getting this sorted out :)





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