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Relationship Health Message Board


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Hello again, HelpHelpHelp.

Yes, you can look at it in either of those ways, but no matter which way you look at it, the break-ups shouldn't be there in the first place. A relationship is not supposed to be so shaky that it crumbles all the time. Relationships may go through tough times once in a while, but during those times, partners need to stick by each other and not turn on each other. Is that what you want in a relationship? One that is constantly being torn apart and put back together? What if the two of you were to have children some day? How would they be affected?

Let me say this too. You said you were in your early 20's. Having been on-and-off with this guy for 6 years means you were only 14-17 when the two of you first started! Am I right? Am I safe to assume that this is the longest relationship you've had with a bf? Probably by a long shot. Those are the most difficult ones to get over. I understand that it's hard to imagine what your life would be like w/o him. Listen to your own words for a little while. By your own admission, ...

[QUOTE=HelpHelpHelp]...he was also somewhat defensive
... "well i buy you blah blah blah i thought that would've been good enough. I'm sorry what i do isn't good enough"
...Over the last 6 years, we've broken up several times.
...I am overwhelmed by his negative, and often inaccurate, perceptions of me. No matter how I behave, it seems he can't let go of certain opinions.
...I don't know how they could ever change, and I won't be happy with the way things are now. Neither will he.
...6 years is a lot of time to build up a lot of hurt, bitterness, and mistakes. Especially since we are young (early 20s now).
...I don't want to carry this weight around anymore.
...I'd much rather he be with someone else and be happy than miserable with me.
...I recognize that we both deserve better than our current situation.
...Sometimes I feel like I am trying to do it all by myself. I get sick of carrying the blame, the pain, and the unsatisfied desire for more.[/QUOTE]

These are not the words of someone who is in a relationship that she needs to stay in. You need to do yourself a huge favor a tell him to take a hike. This guy's done nothing but cause you problems for quite some time. You sound like a great person. :angel: You don't deserve this. All of these quotes were taken from the same post, which I'm sure is only a small portion of what all you've been through. You deserve [U]much better[/U] what he has to offer you. Lemme tell ya, there are much better men to be with who won't treat you like dirt, make you feel like you're responsible for every last thing that goes wrong, leave you with such a feeling of emptiness, and think you have to keep crawling back to him all the time.

I'm a-rollin' now! :blob_fire

Bottom line: Do you really want to be with this guy forever?

[QUOTE=HelpHelpHelp]...I won't be happy with the way things are now. Neither will he.
...6 years is a lot of time to build up a lot of hurt, bitterness, and mistakes. Especially since we are young (early 20s now).
...I'd much rather he be with someone else and be happy than miserable with me.
...I recognize that we both deserve better than our current situation.
...I get sick of carrying the blame, the pain, and the unsatisfied desire for more.[/QUOTE]

I'm doubting it.





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