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Relationship Health Message Board

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I had a boyfriend like this once. He was afraid to even live together, and one day while discussing it he blurted out, totally unconscious of himself, "What if it doesn't work out?" Knowing as many kids of divorce as I do, I think the big fear is a repeat of the utter devestation they felt the first time around, when their parents split up. This is not to say that all children of divorce feel that way- I think it has a lot to do with the age of the child, as well as the events that follow the divorce.

That being said, I think you're right to give him a little time with this. But don't give him so much time that your own needs are put to the side. If it starts to look like he may never get past his cold feet, I would tell him that the only way you two can continue is if he gets some therapy. It seems fair to at least let him try to work on it before completely giving up on what you describe as a solid relationship outside of this problem. And he should be getting therapy anyway, just for his own peace of mind if he still has issues about something.

I think you'll get a lot of advice on here to walk away from this guy. While I do think that there is that contingency of guys that are just not into you, etc., I think every case is different.

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