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Let me start by saying that I have been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half, he is a great guy, and I am crazy about him. However, I am NOT crazy about his cousin.

To be blunt, his cousin is a total a**hole, especially when he gets drunk, which is often. The first time I met him, he tried to start a fight with another guy in my living room. The second time I met him, he lost my boyfriend's phone, handed him $100 and said "here, that should take care of it. Later." There have been a few, VERY few times, that we have all gone out with no conflicts and had fun, and to be honest, he usually acts like a decent guy when sober. Lately, though, he has been getting COMPLETELY out of line when drunk.

For the last few months, every time we have gone out, he has blatantly grabbed my butt, several times, in front of EVERYONE, including my boyfriend and the girl he is sleeping with (but treats like crap). I finally told him to STOP doing it, and he acted very hurt and mad and claimed he was not doing it on purpose. Later that night, he picked me up and put me on his back, against my objections, and then dropped me on the pavement HARD, and didn't apologize for it. When my boyfriend talked to him and told him to stop acting like an idiot (I was asleep on the couch at this point), he made his fingers in the shape of a gun and acted like he was shooting me. He did apologize the next day, but he did it by leaning over and whispering "I'm sorry" in my ear and kissing me on the cheek, which I thought was kind of inappropriate.

I told my boyfriend I wasn't really comfortable hanging out with his cousin anymore and he said he understood, but we talked about it later and he asked me to give his cousin another shot because it was hard for him to be caught in the middle. He said he had talked to his cousin and told him that if he acted like a jerk again, we wouldn't be hanging out with him when I was in town. So I reluctantly agreed to hang out with them again, and give his cousin another chance. That night, he was making fun of the girl he had been sleeping with and basically saying that he was using her for sex. I had grown to really like the girl, and told him that he was a nice girl and he should keep that in mind, and my boyfriend's brother agreed with me. The cousin went off on both of us and told us to get out of his house.

This was the final straw for me, and I told my boyfriend that I did not want to be around his cousin at all. Drama follows this kid WHEREVER he goes. In the past year, he has gotten in at least a dozen fist fights, PUSHED his ex-girlfriend on the floor in the middle of a bar, gotten his two front teeth knocked out, wrecked his brand new BMW (drunk) and has gotten cited for reckless op for driving while drunk at 120 MPH (of course, my boyfriend went at 3:30 in the morning to bail him out of jail).

My boyfriend was understanding at first and we haven't hung out with his cousin since. But now he is giving me the guilt trip again, saying that I don't have to like his cousin or respect him, but he wants me to get to know his friends better and when we do that, his cousin will probably be around. I feel strongly about not wanting to be around this kind of person, but I feel bad for putting my boyfriend in an awkward situation. Am I wrong for refusing to hang out with his cousin, or should I make nice for the sake of bf?

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