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my girlfriend cheated on me about 3 months ago..we patched things up, but for some reason i still feel she's still doing it. she tells me no...and I believe her but I just dont know..We also got tested for hiv(negative) but i'm afraid to get intimate with her now. I sometimes feel like breaking up but feel that i need her..(need advice) maybe i think i cant find someone else????? thnxs
I believe cheating on someone is one of the worst things one person can do to another. It's not something that should be forgiven easily, if at all. Once that kind of trust has been broken it is incredibly difficult to fix. Of course you're not sure if she's being honest with you, and I feel that's justified. She did it before, what would stop her from doing it again? I'm sure that's a question that's gone through your head. She can't blame you for being sceptical.

It's also very understandable that you'd have a hard time being intimate with her. I think it goes deeper than your fear of an STD. I think you're still very hurt by what she's done to you.

I think the only solution here is to keep an open and honest relationship. Even couples counseling can help you both deal with her betrayal and to move forward.

I don't know the details of your relationship so I don't want to suggest breaking up with her. Maybe she does feel incredible guilty about it, and hates part of herself for it. If she's willing to do anything and everything to make things better between you two.. then at least try. If she seems neutral on the top, or not regretful... then maybe she isn't worth it.

Sorry if I seem so negative in this post. I just know what it feels like to be cheated on.. and unfortunately it's something that still effects me and my current relationship.

Good luck.
[QUOTE=mymusiclife]she tells me no...and I believe her but I just dont know..[/QUOTE]

It sounds to me like you really don't believe her, and understandably so. When someone cheats on you, it's extremely hard to be able to get to the point where you really trust them again. It does sound like you are trying to trust and believe in your girlfriend again.

I agree with Jen- cheating on the person you are supposed to be in a commited relationship with is a horrible thing to do. My first and EX husband cheated on me and like I said, he is now my EX. Yeah, I did forgive him, but only after I left him. Sorry, but I just couldn't trust him ever again. Granted, there were other issues with abuse and such, but that is totally off subject.

Either way, only you know what you can and can't accept, but in my opinion, if I can't trust someone and know in my heart that they are 100% faithful to me, then I can not be in a relationship with them- period.

I think it's great that you are trying to move past her betrayal and are trying to make this work. I know I wouldn't be able to. Is your girlfriend doing everything in her power to make it up to you, or is she still doing things that make you not really trust her when she tells you she isn't cheating? I also have to ask how you found out she cheated? Did she come clean because of guilt, or was she caught by you or someone else? I mean, if she came to you herself and came clean, then maybe she really is truly sorry for betraying you and realized what she did was wrong and she wants to make a clean start and regain your trust?

Please keep us posted...Take care.

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