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I am a 28 year old single guy with a problem. I have been trying to meet a girl for some time now and I am having absoultely no luck at all. I think that what happens to me is rather unusual though because when I ask girls to hang out with me, not necessarily going out on dates, but even when I just want to try to achieve stronger friendships with girls that I already know, what will happen is that when I ask then out, they tell me yes, in a very positive and convincing way, and then they don't follow through on it and ultimately in the end we don't end up going out on the date.

There is one such example in my life that is too perfect not to mention. About two years ago I asked this girl out on a date. She is not just any girl, this is a girl that I was, and still am, absoultely crazy about. I knew her for years before I asked her out. Shes a customer at my job where I work and that was how I got to know her. I had wanted to ask her out for a very long time but I never did, mainly because of the typical things that guys worry about when asking a pretty girl out. Fear of rejection and I was also figuring that since she was so attractive and has a great personality and was in her early 20's that she probably already had a boyfriend so that was what was always stopping me. But one day, she came in, and I just decided that the way I feel towards her is so strong that I can't just continue to sit here and not do anything about it. So I started a casual conversation with her, just to get her talking and I went on to ask her if she had a boyfriend, to by which my surprise she told me that no she didn't so then I went on to ask her if she would like to get together and go out with me sometime to which she very confidently and positively told me that yes she would go out with me. It didn't seem like just a typical "yes" either she looked right into my eyes and with a big smile on her face told me in these words " sure, I would love to go out with you." So obviously I felt very happy and secure that she did like me and things would be fine. I gave her my cellphone number and she said she would call me and we would make some plans. Now, one thing I should mention, is that this is a girl with a very busy scheudle. She works one job during the week and another job on the weekends and also takes college classes online but despite that she was still willing to go out with me. So about a week later she called me on a Thursday night and told me that she was going away with a few girlfriends on a skiing trip for the weekend and that in a few days when she comes back, she would call me again and then we would make our plans. Basically she said she was just calling me to tell me that she hasn't forgotten about me and she still wants to go out with me so she just wanted to call and let me know. So I said ok, no problem. So, needless to say the next week she never called. I gave it about two weeks and when I still hadn't heard from her I decided to give her a call myself. So I call and she doesn't answer the phone, I leave her a voicemail specifically asking her to call me back and she didn't. I gave it another month, I called her again and again she didn't answer the phone and again I left her a message on her voicemail and again she didn't call me back. So now I was very discouraged and confused as to what happened. I figured the only thing I could do was just wait until the next time I see her and try to talk to her in person and ask her what happened. So I didn't see her for a few months after that but finally one day I did and we started talking and she just said to me that things just got so busy and she hasnt had any free time but said that she did still want to go out with me and she took my number down again and again she would say that she would call me and again she didnt. Basically this has been going on with her for nearly two years now and whenever she sees me she tells me that we will go out when things "quiet down" but that never happens.

I know there are so many possible reasons as to why she wont go out with me but the one thing that I do know for sure is that she is definately single. I also happen to be friendly with her father and I see him way more often that I see her and as recently as about two months ago when I was talking to him he had mentioned to me that she didn't have a boyfriend. He doesn't know that I had asked her out but he does know that me and her are friendly with each other and it was just something that had happened to come up in a conversation we were having.

At this point, I know that I would be nothing short of a miracle if things were to work out between us because if I have been waiting this long then that tells me alot, but what I don't understand is why would a girl tell you yes, call you a week later and tell you yes again, run into you after that and tell you yes again all to just not go out with you ultimately. It makes no sense. Had she just said no to me on the first occasion that I asked her out then it would have ended right there. I wouldn't of had to make these phonecalls and leave these messages,etc.

The other thing that bothers me is that its not just her. Unfortunately I have other similar stories about girls where almost the same thing had happened to me and I don't understand why. Why not just say no? or why not just say..sorry I am in a relationship..even if your not it still puts the message across that says I won't be going out with you.

Can anyone explain this?!





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