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Re: Alone
Jan 1, 2007
[QUOTE=Laylah]That's awful Dandilionsmile, I'm sorry you're going through this, especially at this time of year; the holidays certainly make emotional trauma feel even worse. But here's a little bit of advice - dont go to his house. Dont allow him to call the shots. Turn your phone off for a few days and do your own thing, anything, just dont let him be the piper calling the tune.

He'll very quickly be wondering where you are and why you didnt turn up. His mind will be working in overdrive wondering why he is suddenly no longer in the driving seat. Believe me, if you want any chance at keeping the relationship, just dont turn up Dandilion. Let him wonder. Mens wonderings have a magical quality all of their own, trust me!

By the time he does get you on the phone (in three/four days; and remember, just turn your phone back on and let him call you, DONT call him) you can be fairly sure he'll call with a new attitude.

If he hasnt had an attitude adjustment, or if he dosent call at all, then either way you'll know he's an arsehole you're better off without, but at least you'll know you gave it your best shot, and believe me honey, that'll be your best shot. It really is the only way to deal with men when they go into this exclusively male mood.[/QUOTE]

What a bloody fantastic idea! I hope you'll get this before you go.
It will be tempting to go, you'll probably think "oh what is the point, i just want to get it over and done with!" but i reckon this is a great idea and it'll do wonders. yeah, maybe he won't change his way, but then you'll certainly know whether or not you are better off without him.

Why do you reckon he wants to break up?

If you guys break up, it'll be very, very, very hard. I've been there and there is no other way to say it: it will hurt badly. But it will ease over time. The answer? The key? To keep busy, to make yourself a plan, to set goals, to pre-occupy yourself. DO NOT sit at home- well, yeah, that maybe good for a couple of days of crying to get it out, but after that, GET OUT, MEET PEOPLE, DO NEW THINGS! and come here for support. it really helps. you will get over him. you will. you think you'll never love like that again, it seems impossible, doesnt it? well you will. do you know why? because it means you haven't met mr right and he is somewhere round the corner. just be patient. easier than said i know, but trust me.
certainly DO NOT start dating someone until you know you are fully over your ex (if he is going to be an ex). it'll prolong pain and it won't do good for you or your self esteem. try to resist it. don't make it harder on yourself.

but saying all that, try ignoring him for a few days. tell him YOU FELT TRAPPED and needed some time on your own. be all nice and sweet. then lets hear what he has to say. perhaps a few days without you may make him realize he may be making a mistake before it is too late.

goodluck! please let us know what you decide to do.





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