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Some of you already know what has taken place with me the past year, or even the past few days. I just need to find out how to move on... how to get past this.

I've been a part of this board for a while now and came here last year when I found out my wife had planned on leaving me, all the while seeing another married man.

It took me a while to get past that part of my life, then meet a woman that I fell in love with. A few months into our relationship, I found out she got back involved with her ex-boyfriend. Once I found out, she begged me back. Told me that I was the best thing to ever happen to her and she knows she hurt me and was sorry, etc. I took her back.

Months went by and things were good... and great at times.

On Thursday, our 1-year anniversary we went out had some drinks (probably too much), and ended up getting into a fight (argument). We were in bed and I felt she wasn't at all interested in me. When I feel like that, I do it because I always think she is thinking about her ex-boyfriend. Now I should say, they haven't been in contact or anything, but I knew he was still around (he is friends with the husband of my GF's best friend). So I was frustrated and left the bed. She left my house and went home... I texted her some things that I wish I could take back, mainly telling her "You've treated me as bad as anyone has this past year".

The next morning I sent her a text telling her I was sorry for how I overreacted. I never heard back from her until 5 that day (after she got off work) and she told me she needed some time. We only spoke for 10 minutes or so.

That night I tried to call her with no luck. I then went over to her apartment and her car was out side (this is about 9:30) but she wouldn't answer the door let alone the phone. So I went home, wondering what was going on.

The next day I find out from the ex-boyfriends best friend (the husband) that my GF told them all we broke up and they went out together to a club/bar. She then drove back with her ex-BF and he stayed the night.

She denied it at first then said he did stay over. We agreed it was over and she never really told me what pushed her to this. She picked up her things and dropped off my stuff and I told her, "You'll end up regretting this someday."

The past few days she has told me how sorry she was and that I was right about the regret part. She sent me texts saying things like...

"I'm sorry for everything I ever did to hurt you. You deserve so much better and I do not deserve you. You are such a great person."

"You have no idea how sorry I am. Or how I feel about all this"

and this morning...

"As each day goes by I feel worse. I don't even want to wake up. I wish I could just sleep forever"

She claims she didn't 'sleep' with him that one night. She told her friend that and the husband and his wife (again, my GF's best friend) neither know what really happened.

I've told her friends I can't do it anymore and I can't take her back this time. This is too much for me to handle and I just want to figure a way to get past this.

My question for you all is... how? How do I move on this time? I absolutely love this woman. She changed my life in a time I was really down... she is beautiful, fun and made me happy when we were together. When it was good, it was great.

How do you get over someone you love so much? Should I just stop talking to her? We still talk every so often... but I don't know if that helps me or makes it worse. I mean, this woman was my best friend. I don't know if I can just totally cut it off.

I still want her, I still want to hold her and be with her but I know I can't because her going out and allowing her ex-BF to stay the night at her apartment. I can't trust her.

So what's the best approach with all this?

Thanks for any help...





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