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started dating her when we were 16. started going steady shortly after and when we were 19 she moved in with my parents and i because her father was a drunk and wouldnt buy food and stuff. lived together til we were both 21 and now have been split for 3 months.

ill try to list the things that likely influenced what happened....

i was 100% faithful throughout the whole relationship. there were times when we broke up for a week or 2 at a time and she would see other people. i didnt like it but technically we werent together so it was none of my business. i saw on a **** that she wrote she loved some guy and lied about where she was going so she could goto a bar with him. her and her cousin claimed nothing happened between them.

she has a huge fear of rejection and this makes her lie about stuff that she shouldnt but she still does because she really dislikes confrontations and wants everyone to like her.

after a couple things happened that made me lose trust in her, i became a little controlling and she did the same in return and we both ended up staying home most the time because we wouldnt trust each other. i'll admit i did hit her 2 times in the last couple years but it wasnt really hard or a fist. i use to have a big anger problem which has since been fixed...luckily i had people to help me.

last year i had to go out of town for 2 weeks to work and she knew it for a while. coinscidently, the day before i left she started a big fight and took off and returned shortly after i was done out of town work.

this fall i had to go out of town for 5 weeks and she ends up leaving shortly before i leave again. then a month later she said she wanted to get back together so we spent the whole weekend together and it was amazing. then i go out of town the next week and i get a text message "im not sure if we should be together" and that was it.

since then i have been to where she is staying 3 times to take her stuff. the first 2 times she was onviously angry at me but the last tiem i went (a couple days ago) we talked for an hour about how we feel. she says she still loves me and always will and that she misses me and that if we worked things out she would dump her current bf that she has been seeing for a few weeks. she wants to start going out for coffee and talking. she tells me that she would move in with me (at my own house now) and help pay bills. she still wears the promise ring i gave her all the time (even wen i see her unexpected she has it on). she asked alot of questions about who i am seeing as well.

she wanted to have kids and get married but i wanted to wait until we live togehter on our own to see if it would work. i know that we shouldnt have settled down so young but whats done is done. from what she has done in the past, i get the impression that she isnt truly ready to settle down because she wants to see other people.

so, how should i go about this? i dont want to wait too long and possibly lose her but i dont want to jump back into things and mess things up again. we both have changed alot (others tell us, we dont tell each other) and i have tried dating other people but i cant connect with them even though they are great women because i keep thinking about the ex.

when she asked how i felt about her and if we would ever get back together i always say that thing shappen for a reason. the next tiem i see her, should i continue saying that and just be friends for a while. OR should i tell her how i really feel...that i miss her and really love her and want her to have my kids.

we have so much in common by how we act, what we do, etc and we have known each other for 10+ years and i feel like shes the one but wants to date other people before settling down.

i know, long post but i figured id get all the important facts in there. thanks for any help.

BTW...i do not feel desperate like many people do after a break up. i have been very active with many women and know i can date great women but i just dont feel the same when im around them as i do with the ex...

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